You Can Live Your Life Without Deciding If Something is Good or Bad
It is what it is
Being accepting is one of those positive habbits that helps life enjoyment go further. Being accepting doesn't mean settling in your personal life, it means accepting the way others live around you.
Gaze around and accept your surroundings. There is no good or bad, nice or ugly, neat or messy, there just is.
Everything that is, is
You can live your life without having to choose wether something is good or bad, you can just let it be.
You can live your life without critiquing the way others live theirs, “They” will be ok without your opinion.
When other people don't agree with you, it doesn't make them, bad, dumb, stupid, uneducated, or whatever else the judge in you wants to label, it just makes them people who don't agree with you.
But what about when somebody else’s decisions affect you negatively?
Its important to figure out who this hypothetical “someone” is. Many blame targets are political leaders, bosses, life partners, parents, children, and everyday people around you.
The only way we can stop the affect that “other” people have in our lives is by being secure in our own lives.
Lets take global issues for example. What can you really do about global issues? If we are not a part of the solution, then we are a part of the problem. What can we do to be a part of the solution? We can be responsible global citizens. We can send love and good will to everyone we share this world with. We can lead through example and cause change with our actions.
Stop judging what everybody else is doing, and start paying attention to yourself
Last week while camping. My husband took me on a "short-cut" without telling me we were on a short cut.
I was upset.
How could he lead me off a trail in a place so wild that there are bears around? And I wasn't even mad about the bears. I was mad about the chigs on my pants, and the possible ticks that could be there.
But I wasn't really mad at him.
I was mad, that my stomach had TOLD me that something was wrong. Not just my stomach. All my senses. I even asked: "Are you sure this is the way?"
He was removing a piece of electrical fence to get us to where he was leading us.
My husband does what he does, and I know its my job to asses the situation based on my level of comfort, instead of what he says is ok.
I can't change my husband
And he can't change my need for "the path of least resistance" or what he thinks is "overwhelming safety."
The solution is not to change him or to chastise him, or to be angry. The solution is to stay aware and make my own decisions, do my own research and pay attention to myself.
You don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable
You don't have to live in life situations that make you unhappy.
But you also can't change others. You can only change yourself, your actions, and your views.
And it doesn't mean that my husband is bad and it certainly doesn't mean that I am good
It just means that we have different levels of comforts and if I want to make sure my body stays in situations that I like, than I must pay attention to where my own body is... No matter what the opinions of others are.
It is what it is
Its not "good" its not "bad."
It is just for you or not for your.
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I enjoyed reading your article and it was a refreshing reminder. You really made me laugh when you said...
"He was removing a piece of electrical fence to get us to where he was leading us"
😂 I laughed this morning too. I wasn’t laughing when I was removing needle like plant pieces from my pants.
Thank you for stopping by and reading. I found this on my computer this morning and gave it a little update.
I'm sure, things are always funnier in hindsight.
I agree so much with your "It is what it is" idea in this post. Sometimes people get wrapped up in trying to change things and make them the way that they want them to be rather than appreciating things for what they are and learning to adapt. This philosophy comes into play in so many aspects of our lives. Often, the inability to accept and to adapt leaves people in a constant state of frustration. Nice post.
It used to drive me nuts.
But I have to change stuff!
My dad used to always tell us..."if you don't like something in your world, change it"
And he was right... so many times we just live with "settling" or being content when we can strive for more.
Accepting your surrounding doesn't mean you have to keep them the way it is.
Accepting that the dishes are dirty does not mean you don't wash them. It means you accept that there was activity that lead to dirty dishes. Its not good, its not bad, it just is.
"You don't have to live in life situations that make you unhappy." And you certainly don't have to settle.
I agree with you in parts.m But there is true evil in this world and it is unequivocally bad ! Are the people 100% bad that commit these acts in most cases no, but it still does not mean that they are not bad people overall.
i do agree that self responsibility goes a long way as well as living by example. But i disagree on the "what can one really do about world issues thing " if everybody thought like that there would be no innovators, no Sophie Scholls, no Mandelas , no Luther kings, no Gandhis . No Paul watsons . Yes we need to clean up our personal act but there is much more that needs to be done by us and there also needs to be a clear stated line in what we tolerate . People need to be called out for their wrong doings. Yes there should, in most cases, be solutions offered and not only judgement ; but this do not judge culture also fosters a culture of apathy.
This is just to simplified
sure if it is about dress code or how you paint your house the above applies
but it does not apply to behaviours that impact others lives
if you are raping children it can not be handled like that
if you are destroying the planet with your behaviour and your choices
no it isn't what it is and it is bad period! If you torture maim and kill it is bad period, and I refuse to not say something or to play nice. i intervene and i actively do things (or i did when i was not sick ) to prevent what you are doing .
But yes when it comes to mundane things and the truly non invasive you are right . If my neighbour wants to run around painted purple and live with 50 cats (as long as they are all cared for and happy ) who bloody cares not my problem ...
Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment.
There is true evil in this world and I have found that I can spend time actively combatting, which many times makes me a part of the problem, or I can spend my time actively spreading a lighter way of life.
As far as I can see, there are no children being raped around me. I work at being mindful of where I purchase my belonging and aim not to do "shopping for fun." The problems of my community are different. Noticing that my waterways are polluted, I can anger and complain, or I can show up to my bay after storms with a bucket and gloves and help pick up the mess.
Yes, I can also do some educating about trash and such, but I find that if we are all responsible for making sure our offspring really learn better ways, and make sure our kids really help their peers join them in consciousness, then we can really make a difference for our future.
I find it easier to do that with more acceptance, less judgement of good and bad, and more holistic thinking of how can we do better.
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