#source Pexels by the great Jonathan Borba

When a child looses a parent, grandfather or grandmother due to a death, it is a hugely drastic event. For us it is the first time ( for those of you who dont know we lost out loving father / father in law / grandpa yesterday ) and it is fucking hard to deal with.

A child loses the feeling of trust and safety in one hard swoop and has to deal with feelings that he or she did not yet know. They need openness, support and understanding to give peace to the strong feelings and thoughts that are suddenly there. It is therefore nice if they have examples who have experienced something similar. So our boys just went to school. We did ask them and they wanted to go and tell their friends and family. We have kids in different ages and it is different for all 4 of our children. Hell i am having a fucking hard time coping. The correct guidance with regard to the grieving processing of children does not exist, we do everything in consultation and hope that we do well. I wish there was a black book with the way to go.

In order to cope with a loss and to mourn, children depend on us as adults around them: their safe, dear parents. Little D slept with C and was awake for a long time. The first thoughts we often get is to protect our children and keep them safe and away from any form of pain. We try to protect them by being silent because adults are afraid of stirring things up, or becoming emotional themselves, or seeing the child become emotional. However, this often does not help the children. Children need information to understand what has happened and what it means for now and in the future. They need support and understanding to be able to give a place to the intense feelings and thoughts that they suddenly have to deal with.

It is therefore very nice if they can meet their friends who have experienced something similar. They then find recognition and find that they are not "crazy" or alone. It is also important that these children are not considered "pathetic" by adults. Getting started with all the feelings and consequences of grief and loss is courageous. The teachers of the boys were so good. We talked to them 1 months ago when the school Yes-R started and told them about the situation we were in, and they are doing such a great job, they are sweet, understanding and so patience. I find this period so difficult and the period will last for a while and we all have to find our happy place.

As a #steemitmamas i hope that if you have tips you Will let me know in the comments.

This is also the perfect blog moment to tell you all that i Will be around a LITTLE less. I hope you Will understand if not than you might not have yet occuperen such a difficult situation.

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Sources used : My own private stock collection, Pixabay and Pexels and with others its mentioned in my blog.

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