The Gifted Child: Our son is gifted but not surviving in school :-(

TThe Gifted Child: Our son is gifted but not surviving in school :-(


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Background

My husband and I have had quite a rough time with our son at school these last couple of months. After an incident in his Grade R class where the teacher said crude things to him and then chased him out of the class, bullying from his "friends", having to take the fall for things that happened at school even if he wasn't even nearby and sending him to sit at the gate and locking it in order for him not to come to us (we work at the same school), playground bullying and the list goes on. Our son is refusing to go to school. He went from loving school and his friends to having nightmares, wetting his bed and "becoming sick" the night before he has to go to school. My son adored his teacher and has know her for a couple of years, since she is/was also my friend. I have spoken to the teacher numerous times, and according to them nothing is wrong and nothing has happened, but after speaking to her assistant I confirmed what was going on because she was also worried about him. He hasn't been the outgoing, loving his friends, boy we have all come to love and adore. After the last nightmare my husband took over and went to see the teacher and the Departmental Head. They went as far as telling him that if we don't put our son on ADD-Hyperactivity medication then he won't be allowed to enter the school for formal education and bluntly said that he is a nuisance in class and that the medication is in order for the teacher to be able to manage him.

We know our son isn't a little angel, he is a typical boy, BUT he is also academically very strong with very strong interest in Mathematics and science. One constantly finds him doing experiments: Testing gravity, water density, elasticity. To only name a few. His favorite TV show isn't Paw Patrol like most kids his age, but the Dr Binoc's Channel on Youtube. A science focused program. See link at the end of this post.

NOTE: We have already decided to put him in a different school since this school won't work at all and he will not get the proper education and will always be labeled just because teachers don't understand children who are academically gifted. Even if it means that we have to move our family back to South Africa.

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Define giftedness

I haven't been able to find a proper definition of giftedness apart from the one provided by the Colombus Group:

Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally. (The Columbus Group, 1991)
Source 1

Characteristics of a gifted child

There are alot of characteristics that gifted children exhibit but not all exhibit the same. Here are the list of traits that may be present:

  • They are very observant
  • They never give up. They are very persistent.
  • They pick up and respond quickly to non-verbal clues
  • They have a vivid imagination
  • They often prefer the company of older children or adults
  • They often disagree with others and are not scared of a debate.
  • They learn very quickly.
  • They are quick to grasp generalizations, see similarities.
  • They have the ability to focus on more than one thing at a time.
  • They often have a great sense of humor and may even be a class clown.
  • They have a high level of energy and can sometimes be diagnosed as hyperactive.
  • They can transfer thoughts and ideas from one set of circumstances to another.
  • They may be bossy in group situations
  • They have better comprehension skills than their peers.
  • They possess excellent problem solving skills, able to think out side the box.
    These are only a few of the characteristic traits. You can read the full list when you follow the link at Resources for Source 2


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How to accommodate these learners in class?

Here are some of the tricks I have learned early on in my teaching career:

  • Have a busy box where the learner can take out a activity with problem solving activities or quizess etc which they can do when they have finished their work and have to be kept busy.
  • Challenge these learners.
  • Engage their minds. Have them be the ones that needs to solve problems.
  • When you say something to them act on it.
  • When right is right and wrong is wrong, don't mix the two.
  • They don't like gray areas. They like to know where they stand with you.
  • Focus on their interest. We always have a science challenge etc. at hand or the most recent is we gave him a science experiments book and this has been keeping him busy for quite a while now.
  • Use technology. We are working with a new generation, GENERATION ALPHA, where they will be the smartes and msot technology savvy of all generations.
  • Let them join the science club, math club, chess club. Let them do judo or karate.


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Conclusion

As a mom I have been very disheartened and sad at seeing our son like this. No parent should go through this, but the sad part is that there are so many parents and children across the world that is facing the same challenges, because there are teachers that just don't want to understand and adapt. I have written this post numerous times over the last couple of days, because I am afraid of stepping on toes etc. But honestly as a teacher I think it is time for the academic system or most likely the teachers to adapt, to realize that we have the future, our future in front of us, the future engineers, doctors etc. and if we don't adapt to be able to accommodate Generation Alpha in our classes we will struggle and we, in my opinion, will alienated a whole group of kids and not allow them to love school and to love learning.


Generation Alpha image

Resources

Source 1
Source 2
Source 3
DR BINOCS LINK


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Thank you @tanyaschutte. This is a very helpful post with great information. I appreciate you sharing so honestly and trust your vulnerability here will help others in similar situations.
I pray that you will find the right solutions and that your son will recover his joy and will be celebrated for who he is.

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Thank you @reonlouw for your comment. It is hard to seen your child like this and I hope and trust that it would help other parents as well.

@tanyaschutte

This was a brave post to write and a hard post to read. I congratulate you. I'm not sure where, in Namibia you are, but you may want to consider contacting the Windhoek Waldorf school and asking for a teacher - Cony - who works with the younger children. I know her from McGregor where she lived for many years. She may have some thoughts/advice for you.

I have also selected this as today's #daily-nominated post in the #teamsouthafrica Discord channel.

I wish you, your husband and your son everything of the best in this hard journey.

@fionasfavourites.

Thank you very much. I will contact the school and ask for her. Thank you. I know that the decisions and options we have made now is for his best interest. Thank you again

Sad to hear children who should be in normal schooling are subject to this type of treatment, teachers need to be educated in how to deal with special needs.

How often I have seen medication being given to suite the needs of others, cramping young minds with drugs, really hope you find a solution to this Tanya.

Thank you @joanstewart. I read an article a while back that a Pediatrician specializing in ADHD etc wrote and he stated that 90% of all patients he evaluates are on the medication because of the teacher. That scares me a lot. Where we currently work the teachers sometimes just call the doctor in town an tells him that this kid must be on meds and then he prescribes it. WITHOUT any proper evaluation and proper procedure that I knew when we lived in SA. If everything goes according to plan we will be back in SA and have our son in a school where we know they understand him. There are wonderful schools in SA, and only while living in Namibia we have come to realize what amazing schools SA have.

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