The Rules Of Life :You Must Know

Rule 1:
Keep It Under Your Hat.

You are about to become a Rules Player. You are about to
embark on a life-changing adventure, possibly, if you choose
to accept your mission. You are about to discover ways to
become positive, happy, and successful in everything you do.
So there’s no need to say anything to anybody about it. Keep
quiet. No one likes a smart arse. That’s it. First Rule: Keep It
Under Your Hat.

Rule 2 :
You’ll Get Older But Not
Necessarily Wiser.

There is an assumption that as we get older we will get wiser;
not true, I’m afraid. But we can carry on being just as foolish,
still making plenty of mistakes. It’s just that we make new
ones, different ones. We do learn from experience and may not
make the same mistakes again, but there is a whole new pickle
jar of fresh ones just lying in wait for us to trip up and
fall into. The secret is to accept this and not to beat yourself
up when you do make new ones. The Rule really is: Be kind
to yourself when you do muck things up. Be forgiving,
and accept that it’s all part of that growing older but no wiser
routine.

Rule 3:
Accept What Is Done Is Done

People make mistakes. Sometimes very serious ones. As often
as not, the mistakes aren’t deliberate or personal. Sometimes
people just don’t know what they are doing. This means that
if, in the past, people have behaved badly toward you, it wasn’t
necessarily because they meant to be horrid, but because they
were as naïve, as foolish, as human as the rest of us. They
made mistakes in the way they brought you up or finished a
relationship with you or whatever, not because they wanted to
do it that way, but because they didn’t know any different.

Rule 4:
Accept Yourself

If you accept that what’s done is done, you are left with your-
self exactly as you are. You can’t go back and change anything,
so you’ve got to work with what you’ve got. I’m not suggesting
anything New Age here such as love yourself—that’s far too
ambitious. No, let’s begin with simple accepting. Accepting is
easy because it is exactly what it says—accepting. You don’t
have to improve or change or strive for perfection. Quite the
opposite. Just accept.

Rule 5:
Know What Counts and
What Doesn’t

Being here counts. Being kind and considerate counts. Getting
through each day without seriously offending anyone or hurt-
ing anyone counts. Having the latest technology doesn’t.
Sorry, I don’t hate technology. In fact, I probably have pretty
much all the latest gizmos. I just (a) don’t overly rely too
much on any of it and (b) see them all as useful tools rather
than having any intrinsic meaning in themselves, in a status
symbol or one-up kind of way.

Rule 6:
Dedicate Your Life to Something.

To know what counts and what doesn’t, you have to know
what you are dedicating your life to. There are, of course, no
right or wrong answers to this one because it’s a very personal
choice—but it’s really useful to have an answer, rather than
not really knowing.

Rule 7:
Be Flexible in Your Thinking

Once your thinking gets crystallized, rigid, and formed, you’ve
lost the battle. Once you think you have all the answers, you
might as well hang up your boots. Once you get set in your
ways, you’re already part of history.

Rule 8:
Take an Interest in the
Outside World

You may be wondering why this Rule is here and not in with
the ones in the section about the world. Well, this one is about
you. Taking an interest in the outside world is about develop-
ing you, rather than for the world’s benefit. I’m not suggesting
you have to watch the news constantly, but by reading, listen-
ing, and talking, we keep abreast of what is happening.
Successful Rules Players don’t get bogged down by the minu-
tiae of their own lives; they don’t live in a tiny bubble. Make it
your mission to know what’s going on in the world—in cur-
rent events, music, fashion, science, movies, food, transport,
even TV. Successful Rules Players are able to hold a conversa-
tion on pretty much everything and anything because they are
interested in what’s going on. You don’t necessarily have to
own the latest everything, but you should have a rough idea of
what is changing, what’s new, and what’s happening, both in
your community and on the other side of the world.

Rule 9:
Be Your Own Adviser.

Deep down within all of us is a fount of wisdom. This is called
intuition. Listening to your intuition is a slow-learned process.
It starts by recognizing that tiny inner voice or feeling that will
tell you when you’ve done something you shouldn’t have. It’s
an incredibly still, quiet voice and needs silence and concen-
tration to hear it properly to begin with.
You might like to call it your conscience if you like, but deep
down you know when you’ve done something bad. You know
when you’ve got to apologize, make amends, put things right.
You know. And I know you know. I know because we all
know. There’s no getting away from it.

The Last Rule :
No Fear, No Surprise,
No Hesitation, No Doubt

Where does this come from? It’s from a seventeenth-century
samurai warrior. This was his four-point key to successful
living—and swordsmanship.
No Fear
There should be nothing in this life that you are afraid of. If
there is, you might need to do some work on overcoming that
fear. Here I have to confess to a certain fear of heights. I avoid
high places if I can. Recently, owing to leaky gutters, I had to
crawl out on our roof—three floors up with a very long drop
on one side. I gritted my teeth and kept repeating, “No fear, no
fear, no fear,” until the job was done. Oh yes, and of course I
didn’t look down. Whatever your fear, face it head on and
defeat it.
No Surprise
Life seems to be full of surprises, doesn’t it? You’re going along
swimmingly and suddenly something huge rears up ahead of
you. But if you look carefully, there were clues all along the
way that it was going to happen. No surprise there then.
Whatever your situation now, it is going to change. No sur-
prises there. So why does life seem to surprise us then?
Because we are asleep half the time. Wake up, and nothing can
sneak up on you.
No Hesitation
Weigh the odds and then just get on with it. If you hang back,
the opportunity will have passed. If you spend too long think-
ing, you’ll never make a move. Once we have looked at the
options, we make a choice and then go for it. That’s the secret.
No hesitation means not waiting around for other people to
help out or make up our minds for us. No hesitation means if
there is a certain inevitability about a situation, then just
throw yourself in head first and enjoy the ride. If there is
nothing to be done, then waiting doesn’t help.
No Doubt
Once you have made your mind up about something, don’t go
over it again and again. Stop thinking and enjoy—relax and let
go. Stop worrying. Tomorrow will come along as certainly as it
can. There is no doubt about life. It just is. Be confident. Be
committed. Be sure of yourself. Once you have committed
yourself to a set course, a path, a plan, then follow it through.
Have no doubt it was the right thing to do and no doubt
that you will succeed. Get on with it and trust your judgment
completely.

That's it.

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