GIVING CHILDREN CONFIDENCE
Parents can be overprotective to children; this is understandable because we all love our children very much.
Overprotecting a child can lead to a child losing confidence in themselves, and they think that they are not good enough to do things.
I understand especially with only children that parents can be over protective but it is definitely not good for the child.
I remember taking my kids in to the shop and buying milk and bread. They came with me and watched me a few times.
Then I started telling the two of them I am waiting in the car you go and buy milk and bread and bring it.
This gave them confidence that they could do something that grownups can do.
The next time I would send one in and tell the other that tomorrow it will be your turn, so stay with me and tomorrow your sister can stay with me and you can buy the bread and milk on your own.
This was just a way to teach them that they should have confidence in themselves to be able to do something that a grownup can do.
I found children in school that had very little confidence. The most important thing that I learnt from them was how to listen to what made them feel they were not good enough. Once you get through to them and know the reason, you could help them overcome their problem. Never forget that the most important thing that you can do is listen and let them realise that you are really listening.
Sometimes these children said that they did not have many friends. Find out why they do not have many friends, ask the class and figure out what is happening that they do not have a lot of friends.
A few of them were actually responsible for their own problem. For instance in the maths class a child would make a nuisance of themselves this would irritate the other children and they would not play with this child.
By digging a little deeper you will find that the child does not understand the work, because they do not know their multiplication table. This child will then do anything to get away so that the other children do not realise he or she cannot do the maths as they felt inferior. They knew that the teacher would chase them out of the class and that would mean they have overcome their problem.
By getting the teacher to help as well as the parents, the child would start learning and understanding this will give them confidence and their whole personality will change.
I know my wife gets mad at me when I write about rugby, but this was one place where I really could give them all the confidence in the world.
When I taught in Pretoria, I started with an under 9 year team. The finals were always played at Loftus Verveld the home of the Blue bulls.
The first year we lost with 20 points and the children were really disappointed and sad. This was a very big thing for them being able to play on that field.
I took them the next year as under 10 team and decided that a little motivation would not be a bad idea.
I took them into the Blue Bull’s location where they use to warm up and dress.
The moment we walked in, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They were staring at all these pictures of Springboks and all their achievements. I did not have to say much. All I asked was who wants to be a Springbok one day. All the hands went up like one man.
I then told them these people worked very hard to get there and they practised a lot. Today I want you to remember the basics that I have taught you and every one of you must give me everything you have. They listened and realised that they were fit enough, trained enough and that if they all worked together with a lot of confidence they can win the game.
This is exactly what happened for the next two years. They had such a lot of confidence in themselves that no one could win them as they worked together as a team and had all the confidence of the world.
Hope you enjoyed my post.
Have a wonderful day from the Wild Coast.
Very informative. You say it all too well @methusalem. Children need courage. and courage, as you insinuate, comes when we afford them that 'feeling of being trusted'.
For one, they need the assurance that failure in an attempt at something is not a tragedy. Once they have that courage, the fear exits and self-belief grows.
Overall, for the blue print for parents on handling children, has always been
Thanks for this theme of 'courage'. It is a powerful requirement for healthy child growth.
Thank you very much.
Pleasure is mine. Thanks
I am definitely overprotective. The things I did as a child my kids arent doing at the same age. I have to relax and let them be. Thanks for the reminder @methusalem
You are very welcome.
Love this! I personally don’t think & still don’t think of myself as over protective parent when my kids were younger. Yes we lived in 2 totally different worlds from my childhood to theirs . I tried to let my kids live & learn.. But never put them in a situation I thought they couldn’t get out of or able to get out of , maybe a little uncomfortable (even if they needed a little push) on their own. But by doing this they are all strong , confident individuals! my oldest 3 are all grown & out of the house .. in their early 20’s they still show me daily, the courage , strengths & Indipendance that I know I had part in instilling into them , when they were little! I only have 1 more still at home! & she’s gonna be just like her siblings. They are our future!! We need them to be Great!!