“I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway... let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.” ― C. JoyBell C.

I was struck with a realisation today whilst watching my son… In many ways he is somehow always “removed” from social situations.

Now, don’t misunderstand that statement. He is an exceptionally sociable little boy who according to his teachers is very popular with his peers. What I am referring to is that he CHOOSES to remove himself from the “crowd”.

I have always been aware of his “selectiveness” – today, for (whatever reason) it hit me! - My son chooses VERY wisely!

Isn't it strange how you can be obliviously aware of something for so long and then in one moment, your eyes are suddenly opened.

We live in a townhouse complex which is filled with kids of all ages. The structure of the development itself is fantastic for kids and as parents it is wonderful, because they can ride their bikes, play cricket, soccer, visit friends, whatever – and you never have to worry about them. You have all the moms and dads numbers and it’s as simple as messaging to find out “who has your kid” on any particular day.

However, my little boy, is enormously particular about who he plays with – and often simply says “no thanks - I don’t want to play with them today”. As parents, we often try to "persuade them" to go and play - you know… sunshine, fresh air and all that jazz… but – if Jude has made his mind up, then that’s it.

I have learnt to accept this - as any good parent would!

Some days, we won’t see him until the sun goes down and that is wonderful… but if he doesn’t want to he simply wont!

Recently, he went gallivanting outside and during cooking supper, I happened to glance out the kitchen window, only to see all the other kids playing soccer, and Jude playing some creative imaginary game next to a tree.

Upstairs I went to go sort out the laundry and peered out the window again, to see him still playing by the tree, but then demanding that the rest of them “pause” the game, he needed to finish something and then he was coming back to play.

I couldn’t help but giggle to myself! - The most amusing part was that they all listened to him too! Hehe

I think I should offer an explanation as to why I giggled at this…

Jude is eight – and he is, well… not tall ;)

He is and always has been the shortest in his class. But… he makes up for it in personality. Lol

So as you can imagine, it is always rather amusing to see this little 8 year old ordering around the kids in our complex, who range from his age right up to approx. 13 years of age. Hehe

I have de-railed somewhat… haha!

My point was - he was present – but removed.

Earlier today I was watching one of Jude’s Youtube videos which was a few snapshots from his karate grading…. And so I watched it again and again... (you know… because I am his mom, and I never get enough of seeing him be awesome) and suddenly I noticed that he ALWAYS removes himself from the crowd. So I went back to examine the original videos and every single time they had to do “cutters” – he stood at least a metre or two away from everyone else.

In a split second, I looked at my little boy and myself and thought to myself….hmmmm… The apple definitely doesn’t fall far from the tree! Hehe

To this day, I have never been one to follow the crowd. I have always been scrutinised and judged but despite that, I have always stayed strong in “who I am” – and yes, I am a leader, and from what I can see… so is my little boy. I am not always the fastest or the smartest. That is not what defines a leader.

Much like my son, a leader is strong! They are determined and have a level of resilience and staying power that many lack. They think outside the box and they are problem solvers. They are compassionate but simultaneously realistic. They are hard but empathetic. They are busy and often overloaded but remain organised. They are occupied, but always free to give of their time.

To me - Leaders are are often the people you least suspect to be such.

As I stand by and watch my little man grow, I realise what an amazing little soul I have the pleasure of sharing my life with.
He was recently reprimanded at school because he told his teacher that the “example of explanation” which she was about to demonstrate, was not going to work. He was dismissed by the teacher and… yip, you guessed it – it DIDN’T WORK. (lol… quiet mommy giggle!) – even the teacher laughed when telling me the story. (At least she acknowledged his foresight. Lol)

I TRULY Hope that he NEVER changes!!!!

Every single one of us have AMAZiNG gifts to share with those who we cross paths with. I know that my little boy will probably always stand by himself in a sense, but this is precisely what makes him so brilliantly unique and I love that!

All our children have their own unique skill-sets, passions and gifts. We, as parents need to learn to embrace them, encourage them, nurture them and ultimately GROW THEM!

Raising little leaders we are :)

Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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