The Importance of Teaching Kids Compassion

if kids – and people, in general, because adults are as susceptible to television as children – are inclined to be violent if they see violence, then maybe people will be inclined to be more kind towards others if they see kindness.

I wrote these words years ago, while taking an online course about social psychology. I remember that for the end of the course, everyone got an assignment. And our assignment was to do a Day of Compassion.
So, I printed some flyers with positive messages, bought some candy and together with my best friends, we set around the park, to try and make random strangers smile and be happy.

So, we walked through the park, wishing people a beautiful day and offering flyers and candy. The response we got was enormous. There were, naturally, a few refusals, but an amazing amount of people who seemed truly moved by what we did. The children were, of course, drawn to the candy. But the adults were drawn to us, to why we were doing this. Many of them asked us why or for whom were we doing this, if it was some sort of campaign. And when we answered ‘We’re doing this for you. To make you smile. We thought we should brighten your day.’ they were baffled. They were almost shocked that someone (especially so young, many people told me) would actually take time out of their day just to maybe see a smile on another human being’s face. We stopped at least ten times and talked to people – to strangers – about how people forget to be happy and to put their worries away for a short while. Many people, especially elders, confided in us and shared a little bit of their everyday problems and they seemed relieved that someone wanted to listen to them. And I thought that was amazing, because that has never ever happened to me in my life and it was such a heart-warming experience.
And what gives me the most pleasure is to announce that many people did smile.

And I remembered this project today, after more than three years. I have a good friend, who has the wonderful habit of compassion, of making random gifts, just to see people happy. And she's always giving us little things she thinks we (her friends) might like. And although we really appreciate these gifts, we realized the other day that we never do the same for her and that's sad, especially as she's having some issues with her family – her sister is sick – and she could really use the extra smile.
As a result, I am going out to buy her a necklace I saw I think she would really like, later today.
I hope she likes it, I hope that I can brighten up her day.

I was thinking how important it is to teach children to be compassionate, to care about one another. I've never met anyone like that, who gives gifts for no real occasion, just because the receiver would like that. And I truly think it's something we could all benefit from doing. You might think 'But I don't have the money to do that' , but it's not about money. Not really.
You don't have to give something expensive. As they say, it's the thought that counts.

Random Flower Gifting

Last week, I was on my way home, when I saw these flowers in the window of the florist's. Knowing that my mom had seemed kind of down that morning, I stopped in and got her flowers. No special occasion, because you don't need an occasion to give.
The next day, my boyfriend did the same thing for me. He got me a lovely little bouquet of roses, for no other reason than the fact he hadn't given me flowers in a few weeks and he knows I love them (sadly, they died over the weekend, so no photos!).

The Power of the Happy Note
Another favorite of mine. Maybe it's because I love to write. I usually do this for my boyfriend, I leave him little notes around the house, saying 'I love you' or 'You make me happy' or 'I hope you have a nice day'.

Also, I like to cook for the people I care about. Last week, I made pancakes for my improv group and brought them to rehearsals.
It really isn't important that you do some big, flashy thing. Really, it's in the little things.

And it is very important to teach this from a very young age, because not everyone is a gifter. It's not out of a lack of kindness, or anything. It's just some people don't “do” gifts in their family. And since they're not taught to give and to do for others, they can't. I think it's a real lack.
So, it is crucial to teach children to give, to be kind, to want to see others happy. For example, I used to take care of two kids. And I remember one morning, I went to pick them up after breakfast and they bought me a 'gift candy'. Another time, the father had taken the younger boy (3) to a class and I was watching the older one. When they came back, they brought me flowers. When I thanked the father, he told me it was his son's idea.

I walked home with a big smile on my face and the flowers close to my heart.

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I think in order to achieve this, it's important to love your children, and to not teach them there's some sort of shortage of love. There's enough love to go around the world. Make sure they know that.
Teach them to be generous with others, to share their toys and their candy. Sharing children become sharing adults.
Raise them to like getting gifts, but also like giving gifts.
It is within the parent's power to do this. If you teach your children to only love material things, you run the risk that one day, they will be sad without those things.

Instead, if you teach them to love the smile on someone else's face, your child will always be rich. And more importantly, happy.

Love is the answer.