DIFFICULT PEOPLE
During my lifetime I have come across many difficult and often very rude people who will spoil your whole day for you. Some seem to be downright unpleasant and goes around, bragging about how smart or sporty or even clever they are. I often wonder if they pass on things that were told to them in confidence, just to be spiteful. Of course, they end up losing friends on their path of boasting and rudeness.
Do they choose to be difficult?
No one chooses to be difficult without a reason. People normally don't act in a way that estranges others without some sort of a reason which drives them to act the way they do. Is it worthwhile trying to find out what drives their behavior? It is difficult to approach these people, it cost nothing to think of a way that you can help them. If you can start to see what drives their behavior, it will be easier to cope with it, although it might be a pain to try and get behind their behavior, it should be a little bit more bearable to be in their company and that in itself is a good reason to put yourself in their shoes.
Some will insult you if you try, all I know is that they need help, serious help and maybe they crave the attention they never received as children and this makes them feel insecure. A lot of people feel small and try to 'big' themselves up by putting other people down. This is not the right way to deal with insecurity or whatever the problem might be, but you can see where they are coming from. Maybe you can give them what they need.
How should I deal with a Big-Head?
When a big-head brags about himself and insult you because he thinks it's funny, your first reaction is to put them down which is quite understandable but this is counter-productive. If you choose this way they will need to big themselves up even more and this time it will be much worse than before. Rather give them credit for something positive they've done or achieved or where credit is deserved. This way you will be saving everybody the unpleasantness to cope an atmosphere not asked for, because of Mr. Big-Head. Of course, it won't always work, but at least you have tried and that should make you feel better for having tried.
Parents are playing a role
People with those kinds of tendencies often have parents who constantly criticise their children, they never give praise for anything well done, these parents rarely show any approval. It can also be a partner who is pushing his or her partner harder than they can cope with or something else that does not justify their behavior but could be explained in a way.
I have often wondered why some people are like that, you find them everywhere. I do not think they are happy people at all. Thank you frieda, this was very nice reading.
Thank you for your reply. Yes, they are everywhere and I also think they must be very unhappy!