Indeed, expectations can become a big mess! I had all sorts of expectations and plans even during pregnancy. And when our son didn't learn to crawl at the exact age that I thought was "right" I got really upset until I realized that my expectations are only my own problem, so eventually I've gone through the effort of letting them go.
The most important part in all of this for me at the moment is not "what, when and how" we do things, but to have a good time and build a good relationship along the way!