As teachers, we live uncomfortable situations day after day with our students where we have to apply some kind of strategy. Avoidance, with which we somehow get out of the situation, is an instrument to handle the conflict. Using some strategies to avoid a bigger problem is not the same as denying the existence of a conflict.

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It is the denial of conflict or abuse of avoidance that causes problems, this is not the case with the avoidance approach itself. With respect to young people, for example, focusing on important problems and ignoring minor irritations can be a key to classroom survival.

Among the strategies most used and recommended by the experience itself are: ignorance, surprise and humor.

The ignorance

Most of us, without knowing it, ignore many insignificant but annoying behaviors, such as when students are distracted in the classroom. Even after noticing that behavior and thinking about what to do, sometimes, the best option is to continue ignoring it. When we consciously ignore a problem that our people have created, we can send them a vote of confidence: "You can handle the situation for yourself."

When and how to use the strategy of ignorance

Children who have tantrums generally respond well to ignorance strategies. Naming unacceptable behavior, indicating disapproval and ignoring it is usually effective. Some children (they do it to get attention) get angry for a few minutes and then the matter disappears. Ignoring the outburst eliminates attention and part of the pro-tantrum motivation.

Sometimes, however, the child will continue to provoke the tantrum until the parents are involved. If the child tends to do this, it is preferable to abandon the strategy of ignorance. That tantrum can be a way to ask for clearer limits or get more attention.

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The surprise

Strategies of surprise and humor distract children from conflict. These solutions are, in general, creative ways to avoid confrontation. It is about applying the ingenuity of the parents so that the strategy works.

Act by surprise

Channeling the energies of children in another activity is a good strategy to avoid conflicts. For example, when children argue during recess, jump with a "see what, is what is there" and tell a story about it.

Another movement of surprise is the sudden stop. It is especially useful with children and even with young people. But you must be careful and not abuse. It can be counterproductive.

When to use the surprise

Distracting is particularly effective with the little ones, whose attention is easily separable from the ongoing conflict. In addition, much of the limit challenge, which is typical of two and four years, can be easily resolved. The danger of surprise, as with other evasion strategies, is that the real problem is not addressed. When children grow up, they tend to master distraction strategies and, unless the alternative offered is very good, they can refuse this type of treatment.

Often, surprise strategies can turn a tense situation into an opportunity for joint fun. If school discipline tends to be serious and perfectionist, both surprise and humor can improve the dynamics of the groups. In addition, children learn first-hand the value of fun in human interaction.

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The humor

Humor is an effective form of distraction because it reduces the tension around the conflict. Often, this is enough to dissolve the difficulty or, at least, it can help the people involved to move towards solving more effective problems or commitments. Humor can illuminate the often tumultuous interactions between adolescents and their teachers.

When to use humor

Before applying this strategy, we must know the public and their own feelings. If you are not in tune with anger, humor can have a cruel result. Humor should be directed to the situation, not to the person. Sarcastic or humiliating humor can aggravate the problem you are trying to solve. It is a key to the fact that parents may be using it to cover or avoid a situation that needs to be discussed.

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"Education, the best that can be given to a child"

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