Childhood Anxiety: Separation Disorder

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Being a parent, I know what it is like to see your child become distressed and worried about being separated from you. You feel every bit of the dread and anxiety they are feeling ten-fold. You wish that you could take away their suffering by taking it on yourself. But you can’t. Every parent’s worst nightmare is that dreaded day you have to drop your child off for the first time to the babysitters, to school, or to an overnight stay with friends. You see the tears, or the sadness and the heart felt need to protect your child. But we all must allow our children to grow-up and thrive. Separation is always a difficult thing, but for most, after the first dreaded time it happens, subsequent opportunities should be better and easier to do. Before long it becomes routine and not a major problem.

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Unfortunately for some this is not an easy obstacle to hurdle. Separation anxiety is one of the childhood disorders that can be difficult for both child and parents. It is a disorder that causes a young child to suffer extreme feelings of worry when he/she is apart from the parents/family or places and certain people he/she is attached to. Even just the thought of being separated causes the young child intense worry and distress.

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What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?

According to an article by Children’s Hospital (http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/separation-anxiety-disorder) “Children with separation anxiety disorder (SAD) may experience difficulty being away from parents or other loved ones, have excessive worry about harm to loved ones, have excessive worry about danger to self, experience difficulty leaving the house, even to go to school, have difficulty sleeping and feeling physically ill when away from loved ones.” These symptoms must persist for at least four weeks and be viewed as more severe than normal separation anxiety in order to diagnose the child as having SAD.

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In another article by Anxiety BC (https://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/separation-anxiety-disorder) stated that, “It is normal for young children to sometimes feel worried or upset when faced with routine separations from their parents or other important caregivers causing them to cry, cling, or refuse to part. Usually such separation anxiety fades as they grow up, begin school, and gain confidence. However, for some children their response to actual or anticipated separations is far more extreme than their peers, and/or continues well beyond the first 1-2 years of school. For these children it is likely that they may have separation anxiety disorder.”

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Some Facts About SAD

If separation anxiety disorder goes untreated and allowed to continue, it may actually interfere with or negatively limit a child’s or teen’s normal everyday activities including social events, school, making friends. Here are some facts presented by Anxiety BC (https://www.anxietybc.com/parenting/separation-anxiety-disorder):

• Approximately 4% of youth will suffer from separation anxiety disorder during any given school year.

• Separation anxiety disorder is the most common anxiety disorder in children under 12 years of age, with a gradual decrease in frequency as children mature into adolescence and adulthood. However, separation anxiety can continue well into adulthood, and even begin in adulthood.

• Onset of separation anxiety peaks at several points of development including with entry into Kindergarten, between ages 7-9, and again with either entry into Middle or High School.

• Boys and girls are equally affected by separation anxiety.

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So what causes separation anxiety disorder?

Many believe that there is a biological, family and environmental factor involved in contributing to Separation Anxiety Disorder. It has been found that two chemicals, norepinephrine & serotonin, when there is an imbalance with them, can facilitate anxiety disorders. It is also believed that with this inherited biological tendency , a child who may already have some propensity to be anxious, may also develop more anxiety and fear from learned behaviors from his/her parents who may show more anxiety around the child. It is also believed that any traumatic experience may also trigger the child’s anxiety.

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So what are the major symptoms that parents should watch out for?

The following list is from Stanford Children’s Organization (http://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=separation-anxiety-disorder-90-P02582):

• Refusal to sleep alone

• Repeated nightmares with a theme of separation

• Excessive distress when separation from home or family occurs or is anticipated

• Excessive worry about the safety of a family member

• Excessive worry about getting lost from family

• Refusing to go to school

• Fearful and reluctant to be alone

• Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or other physical complaints

• Muscle aches or tension

• Excessive worry about safety of self

• Excessive worry about or when sleeping away from home

• Excessive "clinginess," even when at home

• Symptoms of panic and/or temper tantrums at times of separation from parents or caregivers

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Treatment For Separation Anxiety?

Children’s Hospital (http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-treatments/conditions/separation-anxiety-disorder) stated that the, general treatment for SAD involves therapy, medication or a combination of both. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is primarily used which involves teaching the child and parents ways to change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. These therapist can help the parents to learn and understand how some of their behaviors may actually contribute to their child’s anxiety.

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According to Carol E. Watkins, MD (http://www.baltimorepsych.com/separation_anxiety.htm)

Factors that may contribute to separation anxiety:

• Tiredness
• Minor or major illness
• Changes in the household routine
• Family changes such as birth of a sibling, divorce, death or illness.
• Change in caregiver or routine at day care center.
• Parents usually are not the cause of the separation anxiety, but they can make things worse or better.

Factors that may reduce the chances of developing separation anxiety:

• Start occasionally using a babysitter by six months of age. This helps the child tolerate short periods away from the parent and encourages him or her to build trust in other adults.
• Even though children of this age do not engage in cooperative play, start contact with peers by 12 months. By age three, the child should be experiencing play groups.
• Some form of preschool may be helpful by age 3 or 4. This is especially important for children who seem overly dependent on their parents.

Supporting a child through periods of separation anxiety:

• Positive experiences with caregivers, short times at first.
• Help child become familiar with new surroundings and people before actually leaving the child there.
  -Rituals (bedtime and morning)
• "Lovie" or "Cuddly" Represents closeness to parents. If possible, allow the child to take the "Lovie" along.
• Do not give in. Let the child know that he or she will be all right.
• Remind the child of previous brave things he or she has done. Talk about how a fictional character might handle it.
• Let child know, in words he or she can understand that you appreciate how distressing it must be to be separated from loved ones. Understanding and acceptance, but not excessive sympathy.
• Never make fun of a child's separation distress. Do not scold child for it.
• Do not bribe child to mask the distress. If you plan a special activity after you pick the child up, let it be unconditional.
• Focus on the positive things that happened in daycare. Don't let them dwell on fears or imagination of what might happen.
• Minimize fears by limiting scary TV shows
• If it is an older child, consider introducing him or her to some of the children who are to be in the class and arranging play dates in advance.
• Preparing the child--reading books about going to preschool, pretending about going on voyages or quests.
• Make shopping for school supplies a special event just for that child.
• Expect a child to be more tired and possibly more irritable than usual when he or she starts Kindergarten or First grade for the first few weeks.
• When leaving, give a quick kiss and hug and cheerfully say goodbye.
• Don't prolong your departure or come back several times.
• Don't sneak out of the room.
• Even if you feel that a strict teacher or a bully might be part of the problem, keep your child going to school while these problems are being handled.
• If your child does stay home, do not make it an extra fun, gratifying day.

The Anxious Parent--Suggestions for Teachers:

• Teacher should introduce self to child and invite the child to play with toys or have a snack.
• Offer to have the parent stay a while, leave the child alone briefly with the teacher and then return.
• Suggest to the parent that he or she try role playing with the child to rehearse the separation.
• Teacher could have a ritual for the parent leaving the child.
• If the child is in an absolute panic, ask parent to stay until the child is quieter. Teacher should ask parent to comfort child in a firm, loving voice.
• Teacher should never criticize child for feeling sad or anxious.

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Separation Anxiety Disorders can have a serious impact on the child and family. It is very important for the parent and teachers to be vigilant for any signs of SAD in children because early detection and intervention can reduce the severity of the disorder, facilitate the child’s normal growth & development and improve the child’s or adolescent’s quality of life and experience. Thank-you for reading my article on Childhood Anxiety: Separation Anxiety Disorder. I will continue with the remaining 2 anxiety disorders in my next few articles. Thank-you for joining me in this journey about Childhood Anxiety. If you would like to follow me, please check HERE.

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These are my previous articles on Childhood Anxiety if you are interested in reading it:

Childhood Anxiety: The Anxious Child
https://steemit.com/steemiteducation/@cabbagepatch/childhood-anxiety-the-anxious-child

Childhood Anxiety: What Types of Disorders Do Children Have to Deal With https://steemit.com/steemiteducation/@cabbagepatch/childhood-anxiety-what-types-of-disorders-do-children-have-to-deal-with

Childhood Anxiety: Selective Mutism Disorder
https://steemit.com/steemiteducation/@cabbagepatch/childhood-anxiety-selective-mutism-disorder

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