Surviving Parent Teacher Interaction - Building a Relationship of Trust - Steemiteducation Homework

There are a significant number of jobs that fall under the umbrella of teaching. There are many tasks that a teacher is responsible for. Teachers need to prepare lessons, teach lessons, develop and create units and assignments, marking and many others not to mention the time-consuming job of writing and preparing report cards. Teachers have the unique responsibility of educating the young minds of our children. It often feels like the future of society rests in your hands. Of all the things teachers are responsible for, the most stressful job might just be dealing with parents. Children are the most precious things in their lives and as teachers, we play a huge roll in the development of these young people. The expectations parents have can and should be massive.

I remember the first time I was involved in a parent-teacher meeting experience. I was a student teacher and my mentor invited me to sit in on her meetings. I was just a quiet observer at the time but I could feel her tension and stress of the moment. The majority of the interactions were very cordial and positive. The parents were happy and quite pleased with the progress that their children were making. There were, however, a few stressful meetings. There were a couple of kids in the grade 6 class who were struggling with both academics and behaviour. These meetings were more difficult for her. There was a tension from the moment the parents sat down and I could see that she was very focused on keeping the parents at ease. From my vantage point, she did a great job but it almost felt like the parents were leading the meeting rather than the other way around. Looking back, the parents were not aggressive but they were concerned. They wanted to know why their child was struggling.

Seeing her stress made me think about how I wanted these meetings to go. I didn’t want to sit across from parents and be stressed out and worried about what they might say or if they were going to be upset. This would prove to be more difficult than I initially thought. The first time I had to meet parents on my own was a meet the teacher night. It was my first year as a teacher. A few weeks after school starts our schools always have a meet the teacher night. I was sweating buckets as I waited for the parents to come to the class and meet me. The night went well and the parents were all very friendly but by no means did I feel like I was in control of the situation, I felt like I was trying to survive the night. I quickly realized that it wasn’t as simple as I thought. I understood how my mentor teacher was feeling but I didn’t want that to be how I felt every time I met with parents.

Over the first couple of years of teaching, the stress of meeting with parents continued. As much as I prepared for these meetings I was still worried about the reactions of parents when their kids were not successful or having behaviour problems. There was always this feeling that because these kids were struggling in some way that I was in some way responsible. It is my job to make sure that all my students succeed. It wasn’t until the first time I really had to deal with an angry parent that I started to figure things out. To be perfectly honest, I was extremely blindsided by this parents anger. She was not the parent of a child that was having any issues. Actually, her daughter was doing very well so when she started to express her frustration I was surprised. She was upset because she felt as though her daughter wasn’t receiving enough homework. I was worried at first but decided to lay out my views on homework. This turned into a great discussion about who I was as a teacher and about who her kid was. By the time the interview ended her mood had completely changed and she left happy. Before she left she told me that she was actually nervous about coming in to see me and appreciated how well I knew her daughter.

What I realized is that moment was that in many cases, parents are just as nervous about meeting teachers. In their eyes, teachers are the professionals and they sometimes feel overwhelmed by meeting with teachers. As much as I might feel like I am responsible for their child’s success, they are also feeling the same way. This revelation was a game changer for me. I realized that as nervous as I might be, parents were also feeling some anxiety about meeting with me. I was always diligent about being prepared for these meeting and I know my students incredibly well. One of the best comments I get from parents when we are meeting is how much they appreciate how well I know their children.

For the most part meeting with parents is a very positive experience. I look at these meeting as an opportunity to discuss my student's strengths and needs and to make sure that we are all on the same page. Although angry parent interviews are rare, over the years I have had some tough interactions with parents but I have learned to manage parent emotions through honest discussions and listening. In many cases, parents who are upset want to be able to vent their own frustrations and it is important that I make sure they feel that they are being heard.

There are some strategies that I have found make a big difference in my relationship with the parents of my students. Relationship is the key word in that last sentence. I came to the understanding long ago that parents want to be part of helping their children be successful. Especially, frustrated parents who are trying to find out why their kids are struggling and seeking ways to help them find success at school. The times when parents are most frustrated is when they feel like they have been surprised or have missed the fact that their child is struggling. From my experience, if parents feel like they are uninformed or misinformed they are more likely to become frustrated or angry. There is nothing worse for a parent than getting a report card and seeing for the first time that their child is not doing as well as they think.

There is no way to ensure that every parent is going to be happy all the time but the biggest thing that I feel has helped me over the years is communication. Communication on all levels is so important for teachers and especially when trying to cultivate relationships with parents. Parents want to be able to trust that their child's best interest is always being considered and that they are getting the best education possible. This trust and support can only be built through communication. I use google classroom and a class website to communicate what is happening in my classroom. This helps parents keep up to date with what their child is doing at school. I update the website a few times a week with what we are learning in class as well as school or classroom news. When students are experiencing difficulties I immediately initiate communication with parents about these issues. This allows them to know that there are some concerns as well as the things that we are doing in class to address these issues. It also gives parents the opportunity to help out kids at home as well.

At the end of the day, parents want to know that teachers know their children and that we have their kids best interest in mind. They want to feel informed and to know that when there are issues, they can count on the teacher to do everything possible to help their kids be successful. Making sure you are on the same team with parents will help to avoid those angry moments.

Images: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5