Being disappointed and encountering failures are part of life

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Things happen in life whether we want it to or not, whether we plan something or think positive or try our best.  Sometimes we are just destined for failure.

You have all heard the saying It is not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up, but this can be very difficult.

Dealing with failure is something that must be practiced and will not always come naturally for your child.  How do you help your child cope with dissapointment and failure?

Some children will be able to get over it quickly and some will dwell on it for a long time, but there are ways in which you can help them and re-assure them that getting disappointed or failing is part of life and it is all about how you handle it.

Sometimes we come in second

            

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Some children will always win at something and then suddenly there is somebody better than them and they cannot handle the fact that they did not win or get a trophee.  

Your child needs to understand that life is not always about winning, sometimes it is about participating and there is nothing wrong if you do not get a prize.  The mere fact of showing up and enjoying it must be enough of a reward.

If you keep on rewarding your child with presents for doing nothing, just to make them feel better, you are never going to teach them to deal with dissapointment.

They need to understand that we all have different talents. Some can run fast and some can spell better.  There will always be somebody that can beat you, but never somebody that is better as a person, because we are all unique.

Fail with dignity and learn from it

If your child does not win or something goes wrong in their lives, do they sit in a corner and cry or do they face the fact that somebody beat them and are a good sport about it?

Teach your child to fail with class and not go into pity party mode.

Kids need to learn from mistakes or disappointment.  Next time they can do better or try harder, but every failure is an educational experience.  It is only when you do not learn from your failures that you will get stuck and never learn to get up again.

Teach your child to persevere

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It can be so easy to give up the first time we fail or are disappointed, but teaching your child to persevere will make them stronger and make them grow up be to adults that can face challenges and overcome it.  

This will make the "standing up" easier and more of a positive, learning experience.

Do not show bad sportmanship if you win

Just as important as it is to learn to cope with loosing and disappointment, just as important it is to know how to win. It does not mean that if you win at something now you are suddenly the best and better than your friend.  

Just for that moment you are the winner, but that can be lost again very easily.  Make sure your child is respectful towards others when they win.

Laugh it up

                  

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Somedays it just feels that everything is happening at once and nothing is going right.  Is it really going to help to crumble into a heap or will it just be better to laugh about it and except the fact that life is just throwing something else at you.

You can also teach you child that we do not have to mope around the whole time when things are a failure. 

Sometimes it is good to laugh at a situation and at ourselves and in the process you will be in a better mood and feel better at facing and sorting out the problem.

Be a guide

You cannot be the one to sort out everything, every time for your child.  You have to give them some room to make their own mistakes or come up with sollutions and deal with dissapointments.

This does not mean you must just leave them alone, you can guide them in a situation, without taking over their lives.

Your child must be prepared to face setback and deal with it on their own.

Being a good role model

                                               

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You cannot expect your child to deal with disappointments and failures when you are walking around the whole day as if the world is resting on your shoulders.

Show them how you deal with disappointment and give them someone to look up to.  The more they see that you are not giving up, the more they will follow.

Also make sure your child understands that none of us are perfect and we do make mistakes and can disappoint others or ourselves.  This does not mean you are a bad person, this means that you are human and most mistakes can be rectified.

Encourage them to be daring

A child will naturally keep themself busy with things that they like or are good at, but sometimes they need to be challenged and see that it is fine not to excel in everything.

The moment your child are participating in something which they will not win, they will start learning to deal with the fact that others can be better and failing is a learning curve and not the end of the world.

When must you step in and help?

As much as we want, we cannot wrap our kids in cottonwool and help and resolve every mistake or setback or dissapointment.

Kids need to try and deal with this in their own way, but there are times when you as parent have the fullest right to step in like when the child is in danger or when the failure can give a knock to his self-confidence or cause embaressment or when he/she is been bullied because of failures.

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