Embracing your self-esteem
To have a good self-esteem means that you feel comfortable with yourself and you are happy with who you are and where you are in life.
It does not mean you have a big ego or think you are better than others, it just means that you are content.
To have a low self-esteem can be very degrading for kids and adults - you do not believe in yourself and nothing that you do or achieve feels that it is good enough or worthwhile.
You can have a low self-esteem because of yourself or because other people are running you down and you always feel there is someone who is better than you or who you have to compete with or do not measure up to according to you.
How do you know that you have a good self-esteem?
You have a feeling that who ever you are is fine and you feel confident around others and most of the time you have a happy feeling inside of yourself.
You are not scared of trying new things and you believe that you will be able to achieve what you set your mind to. You also want to do well in what you do and you have a feeling of accomplishment if you achieve it.
You can think critically and creatively and you can solve your problems without loosing yourself or your perspective. If you solve your problems or you achieve something you give yourself a chance to enjoy the moment and feel proud of yourself. You also appreciate compliments from others without getting an inflated ego.
What can I do to better my self-esteem if it is low?
Once you realize that we are in a constant dialogue with ourselves and we tend to believe what we tell ourselves, you need to speak in positive ways to yourself and not always just see the negative side of a situation or yourself. Concentrate on the things you feel proud of and are happy about and practice positive self-talk.
Think of the times when you were very happy and what did you do to achieve that happiness.
You will not be happy if you keep on comparing yourself to others - work on your own talents and do not tell yourself the whole time I am not as good/clever/pretty/fast/funny as that person. We are all unique and special in our own way - find yours.
Try something new but accept that you will maybe not be the best the first time - forget about how good or bad you are at something and rather just have some fun.
If you are too scared of failure or feeling that you are going to embaress yourself, do the things you are good at and accept compliments that people give you.
The quicker you make peace with the fact that nobody is perfect (even the ones you think is) the faster you will understand that making a mistake do not need to break down your self-esteem.
Only YOU can break down yourself or give someone permission to do it - nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give your power away and let them get to you.
Accept yourself and your limitations and understand that some things we can change about ourselves like how you react to stress , or socialize or do your work, but certain things you cannot change and will just have to accept it like the way you look, how tall/short you are, how big your feet are etc.
So why waste time on down running and bad mouthing yourself?
There are enough people out there who love being bullies and making people feel bad about themselves, so concentrate on yourself and make sure that you love and respect yourself and your abilities.
You can do the following quiz to see of you have a good self esteem or if it needs some work http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/quizzes/selfesteem/
