Excited...Worried...Scared...Hopeful...Excited!!!

These are my feelings at the moment. As I have mentioned in some of my other posts especially my teardrops (https://steemit.com/untalented/@purpledaisy57/teardrops-of-a-mother-for-her-child), my daughter is pregnant with their first child and my first grandson, (we know it's a boy).

SOURCE

I am excited to be a grandmother. It is exciting yet I am also worried and scared because I am far away from her. How I would have loved to be with her now. I still need to renew my passport but the love that Papa-bear or better known as @paradise-found gave me to help me, I have saved it because I plan in Feb to go to Cebu to renew there. It is much cheaper and easier for me than going to Manila. I am slowly getting some earnings from #steemit and saving it. Hope soon the price will go up. I still don't know where I will have to go, just hope in Cebu.

She is due supposed to be in Feb. But last month she was advised to take an emergency leave till she gives birth. She has been in and out because she nearly had pre-eclampsia. Also her potassium level ifs low and BP is high. Times like this I feel like I am a failure. Here I am a mother and a registered nurse, yet I can not do anything to help my daughter. She has 2 uncles living near her. They live in Long Beach CA and she is in Whittier, CA. I have no idea how close but I guess since they have cars they are still able to visit.

But unlike here in the Philippines when someone is sick in the hospital, there will be lots of visitors and they bring food. There very rare. I told her not to expect because she was admitted unexpectedly and her uncles also work.

It is hard when you are from from your child. So hard for a mother especially if it is an only child. The same with a child who is far from their parents especially if their parents also get sick. Society, economics and politics are some reasons we need to find greener pastures. To help out those left behind.

Last night she called because it was only afternoon their time. She was admitted again because her potassium is low again and her BP is slightly elevated. She was given steroids so the baby's lungs will mature, she is only 36 weeks but the doctor said if no improvement, they might have to do a C-section or cesarean. So they had to give her intravenous (IV) medications. Hope they will help. The reason for the C-section is not only for the baby's sake but also for her because of her elevated blood pressure. So it is for the safety of both the mother and the baby.

I was feeling sad for her. My heart aches to be with her. But I hope sometime this year I can. As long as I have renewed my passport, the rest will come easy. My younger brother works nights. He said he will try to go but he has to see if he can go under time. I was praying he would be able to. Sometimes having a family member can help. The patient will feel less stress. Also I will feel better knowing that she has her uncle and aunt with her, besides her husband.

A while ago I saw this picture on Facebook. I felt happy my younger brother and his wife came to visit. They even brought with them a close friend who also happened to be a delivery room nurse. Seeing the smile of my daughter and her husband (the one taking the groupie) and my brother at the back with his wife in pink, I felt relieved. Also they pm me some good news, her magnesium and potassium is normal. But they will let her stay overnight and keep her NPO (nothing per orem) or nothing by mouth. Just in case if they have to go thru with the cesarean tomorrow. I am #grateful for my younger brother for taking some under time to visit her and stay for almost 2 hours and our friend. They went home just before 12 midnight.

As I write this it is 3:00am their time . I will know in a few hours if they will push thru with the plan. All I can do is pray and light a blessed candle (candelaria) during the surgery. Can I ask some prayer warriors to pray with me in a few hours? It would be highly appreciated.

Soon I will know if I will be a grandmother or still wait. That is why I am excited, worries, scared hopeful and excited again.

PICTURES ARE THOSE FORWARDED TO ME BY MY BROTHER AND DAUGHTER

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