People Pleaser, Reminder To Mind Yourself
I have always loved this poem. I used to have it up in my office at work and when I packed up the last ten years of my life I found it. Truth be told, I probably shouldn’t have taken it down from the wall, as in so doing I forgot an important lesson that it taught me years ago.
This poem reminded me to mind myself and my own business. It reminded me not to allow my life to be driven by what makes everyone else happy. You see, I have a serious problem and I will share it with you all here. I am an obsessive, compulsive people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and to like me. I can’t handle it if someone is angry with me or if they get upset because I couldn’t do something for them.
Now don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to please the people you care deeply for and who care deeply for you in return. The problem comes about because, sadly, most of the people you encounter in life don’t really give two shits about you. They only care about what you can give them. That is also okay, just see these relationships for what they are and move on. In other words, don’t stress to much about what they think haha.
This poem brings about peace and reminds me that it is okay that not everyone I encounter will have a lasting and meaningful effect on my life. It reminds me that no matter how hard you try some people will never like you and that’s also okay. It reminds me that in my life I have also met some truly wonderful people who I now hold very dear to my heart. It also reminds me that I need to love and respect people for who they are, and not expect them to behave in a certain way, just because I want them to. Each to their own, as I have heard so many times before.
This poem is now safely back on the fridge and stares at me every time I get hungry or thirsty, which is a lot most days. So now I see it every day often and each time I read it, I remind myself of the lessons and that it's okay. It's okay to live my life in a way that fulfills me. If it doesn't make sense to you, then that's okay. I don't expect you to explain your choices to me, so I won't explain mine to you.
Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling :)
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This is such a good reminder to me as well. I like the name you coined for us, OCPP. Thanks for sharing.
You've reminded me of a silly phrase I coined awhile ago (which I plan to turn into a post soon): "You can't burn a bridge you haven't built yet." Meaning, if you don't really know someone, screw'em. You can't waste time trying to mourn something that wasn't there. People pleasing is tough to stop, but I am so glad to hear that you've made good progress with it.
Thank you and good saying indeed. Look forward to reading it.
Always look after yourself and do what makes you happy. Don't aim to please others as you won't get proper happiness until you are happy with yourself and your choices.
Thank you and agreed. Something I always strive for.
Oh dear @jusipassetti, I've found another kindred spirit! I've lived my life thinking it's my job to make those around me happy, and got bitten sometimes. Love that poem, learnt that lesson eventually and got bitten less often. Sadly some people thrive on drama in their lives so it's best to let them get on with it and not drag you down with. Go well and live your life as you want it to be, great post xxx
Thank you very much @lizelle and yes sadly people can rub their drama off on us. I've also learnt valuable lessons along the way and choose a bit more wisely now.
Pleasing poor people is in my genes, but I am more of an introverted soul that dislike thank you's and praise. I think it's psychological, as when you help a stranger they can't come back to haunt you! A small group of selected life long friends that only see each other occasionally is more than enough for me! I like your poem! Blessings and Upvoted!
Thank you and yes helping those in need is extremely rewarding and enlightening. It makes us reflect and be grateful for all the things we take for granted.I also only have a small group of cherished friends that I love spending time with.
Great insight. Its important to know that you can't please everyone.
Pleasing another person is not good make yourself better by improving on oneself will make someone a better person