I DO NOT GIVE A F@#K ABOUT MY FUTURE

Today GOD (as I want to call it) put me my biggest fear in front of my eyes.

That’s it. Seeing my child been brought up by my worst enemy and with the girl I love the most.

The worst thing is that I believe so little in myself that I pretended that I was so mature that I rather put my son with someone who could teach him something about life, someone better than with me… It is low self-steem an cowardness too.

Someone that is able to make fun of himself, someone who is able to have a girlfriend that he is actually attracted to.

Someone who is able to walk with God. Someone who is trust worthy.

Someone who is afraid of seeing reality as it is. But he goes anyway.

Someone who is not absorb in some wishful thinking about the reality and how the world works.

I always have this wishful thought that reality is going to be easy and that I do not have to work anything.

That life owns me something. That I am important. Please read the first paragraph after Adan ate the apple and tell me if that sounds as paradise.

I am way too soft, very soft. Pesimistic.

Thank you for Reading
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Source:podnapisi.net