Mama Parenting 101 #1: Can I let my girl go out with her friends?

This topic has been going on my head for the pass few days. I want to write about it but still stuck and have no idea how to start. Few days ago, I posted a Steepshot photo of my girl looked so happy celebrating her birthday. @kenny-crane commented my post and give a good credit and some $$. With this encouragement came an idea that maybe I could do a write up about Mama Parenting 101..hmm sound nice to hear..LOL

Why not, after all, I just join one community in Discord for STEEMmamas lead by @keciah I did my introduction and all that, and hope she approve my humble request...finger cross.

I'm not an expert in parenting, but based on experiences, sharing with friends and my day to day teaching my girl, I hope I could do a good and valuable writeup.

Like any parent, I’ll have to deal with my girl asking if she can go out with her friends. This started out last year after she graduated in primary school. Although she had asked me multiple times if she could go out with her friends, I had always turned down her request. Last week she asked me again. It was like...oh so annoying, why can't she just straight ask her father (in which he would certainly say NO...LOL) instead of asking me first.

Deciding when your offspring is responsible enough to be left home on their own, you’ll have to figure out when it’s safe for them to venture out without adult supervision.

I remembered in my early teens, when my dad forbided me from going out with my friends, I felt so frustrated. I've lack of freedom that I cried thinking that all my friends were having fun except me. I was good in school, grades were great and at home, I behave well. I could not understand why my dad was so against letting me go out with my friends.

Like others many parents, much as I want to protect my girl from dangers outside, sooner or later, I'll have to let her leave the nest and spread her wings... Just thinking of this makes me so sad.

But, I do realise that, restricting her from going out with her friends will give an impact on her in terms of her confidence, ability to be street-smart, independence, ability to know risks and danger as well as problem-solving skills.

Lack of Confidence

I do realise my girl is still lack of this skill. She need to build up her confidence and this start with letting her see the world.

Talking about lack of confidence,
I remember some time two years ago, there was a boy/man undergo an intern training in our organisation. His mother sent him to work everyday and always checked on him during lunch. Whenever he's late to the office, the mother will called us saying her son is on his way to the office.

There's one time we sent him to our site with our team, our Site Project Manager said that he's lack of common sense; everybody avoid going inside a small pond by going around it, he just walked straight and fell into that pond!

Guess what happen the next day, his mother scold us and said that her son only can work in the office. She also gave us list of his like and dislike. Oh Wow! we just laughed..thinking who's incharged here?

We found that this kind of behaviour is odd. Behind his back, we called him mama's boy. This is clearly abnormal for an adult, 21 years old boy/man who should be forming some type of friendship and independence instead of being overprotected by his mother.

Of course, I don't want this to happen to my daughter.

Ability to be street-smart

Street Smart is the ability or skill to come out of every situation with the favorable outcome. It's a combined knowledge of prior life experiences and natural logic. People with this ability are not naive and cannot be easily manipulated.

Independence

This may be hard to hear, but there are times when our children is better off without us. As parent, one of our most important goals is to raise them to become independent and self-reliant people. I need my girl to have this, but just thinking of it makes me have this mixed kind of emotion...she still a baby!

Ability to know risks and danger

I do want my girl to have this skills. I want her to be careful and aware of her surrounding to know what could cause harm to her. This will teach her to weigh up whether what is good and bad for her.

Problem-solving skills

My girl needs to have a good problem solving skills so she can have a bright future, where she is able to make healthy decisions for herself. I do realise I need to work on this as she's good in her problem solving in the book but in daily life, she still lack of this skill.

Decision Decision Decision

Back to my girl keep pestering me on going out with her friends. I got angry (blame it on my hormon raged period) and asked her to ask her father directly. It end up she didn't ask him!

Does this makes me a bad mummy?