What are they hiding from you?

Secret #1:

Steemit Whales have their own Cult!

The Cult, know by members as Triple S (Secret Society of Steemians) was founded in March of 2016 by @tuck_fheman. @berniesanders quickly rose to be the Grand Poombah of this cult and sits atop his ivory throne pulling all the other members strings like an expert puppet-master.

Finding members who will talk about the Cult is very difficult and even get them to admit it exists is like pulling teeth from a hungry tiger. Even the mention of it's existence elicits rage and scorn from it's members.

I have, however, been able to determine there are roughly 150 current members to this cult. They all possess in excess of 1 million SP and have provided "supreme satisfaction to the Grand Poombah". No one will say exactly what they did to provide "supreme satisfaction", however. I suspect it involved quite a long time on their knees, to be honest, but that is just an opinion as no one will speak of the deeds they were required to perform to become a member of SSS.

Secret #2:

Steemit Whales have a "No Vote" and a "Vote" list they share among themselves.

I first became aware of the "Vote List" almost a month ago, after observing a "private" chat between numerous whales (members of SSS) in on Steemit.Chat. They didn't know I was there and the room they where in is now 'Private' and 'Hidden'. Getting on to this list requires you to either be a member of SSS or one of the hordes of groupies that feed their ego's and provides "supreme satisfaction" to the members of SSS. There are currently about 50 people on this Vote List and members of SSS routinely up-vote everything thing written by people on that list.

The "No Vote List" came to my attention roughly two weeks ago after an incident in "steemitabuse-classic" in which I repeatedly told the "Grand Poombah" (@berniesanders) to go F*&K himself.

(I should have kept my words to myself and donned my knee pads, so @berniesanders I am sorry I implied you had enough equipment to actually penetrate your own anus - next time I will "shut up and keep calm" while I tickle your balls with my tongue!)

I was utterly amazed at how fast I found myself in the number 2 position of the "No Vote List", thankfully the "troll" @earnest (aka @feminism) is atop the list and will likely stay there forever.

Secret #3:

Whales love minnows, well they love to "eat" minnows!

Image borrowed from @calaber24p. - See the post here!

Whales will eat almost anything, including Dolphins and Fish, but they absolutely love eating Minnows. It is their caviar, their dessert.....the drug they can't stop using! I have been aware of this fact since the first day I joined Steemit.com almost 2 months ago. What I didn't realize, until very recently, is why they love minnows soooooo much!

You see they don't actually "Eat" the minnows. It is more like they Swallow them Whole. Then the minnows pass through the esophagus cleaning it along the way by eating the crap that builds up on the sides. Once in the stomach the minnows quickly make their way through the stomach and into the Whale's intestines where the eat all the old cruddy shit that causing blockages and leading to the whales having a bad attitude. Once the intestines are cleared the minnows swim out the whale's sphincter with a full belly and a happy whale who will in turn Up-Vote them so they can make enough scratch to feed themselves for a few days.....until the whale gets backed up again and goes hunting his favorite turd-sucking minnows.

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Disclaimer:

This post is Purely Satire, anything factually accurate about this post was incidental and not on purpose. The Author makes no claims "of truth" about anything listed above.....except in offering his sincere apologies to @berniesanders, @smooth, @pfunk, @blockcodes, @riverhead, @ash and everyone else who witnessed his melt down in Steemit.Chat a few weeks ago - Sincerely @im.sorry!

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