Suggestion for rewording of the Steemit.com 'about' page - 'Vision' section.
I just saw the recently updated 'about' page for Steemit.com and had some difficulties reading it.. So I'm suggesting a change.
The current 'vision' section on the Steemit 'about' page is poorly worded and difficult to read:
Our vision is that steemit.com is a vibrant communities web app, expanding the boundaries of community coordination and online discussion by incorporating cryptocurrency as incentives. The company focuses on sustainability and decentralization by lowering running costs and increasing revenues, while increasing stickiness by providing better homepage and community tools, and is always demanding a secure and safe, client-side signing experience.
There are terms in there that most people won't understand and the way the words connect together is difficult to parse.
I have written my own version which I think would form a better alternative while still conveying the same message/thinking:
Our vision is for steemit.com to provide a vibrant, community oriented web application that empowers online discussion and participant co-ordination - incentivizing co-operation via rewards paid in cryptocurrency. Our company focuses on sustainability by leveraging decentralized software and network design to keep our running costs low and community engagement high. Our goals include the improvement of our users’ experience by providing enhanced community tools, supported by increased revenues resulting from careful long term strategies. Above all, we will continue to provide a safe and secure way to engage with the Steem blockchain and social eco-system.
What do you think? Is this an improvement?
Wishing you well,
Ura Soul
Vote @ura-soul for Steem Witness!
(Witnesses are the computer servers that run the Steem Blockchain.
Without witnesses there is no Steem, Steemit, DTube, Utopian or
Busy... You can really help Steem by making your 30 witness votes count!)
In a word, 'Yes'!
I really disliked
from the original, and find your version much easier to read.
Thanks for the feedback. :)
Sounds good, maybe you could rewrite the whitepaper too. That thing seems cued toward Steemit and not the block chain itself.😉
Posted using Partiko Android
Oh sure, I'd do that - if cold hard cash is on the table.. or at least golden cookies :)
Agreed 👌
Posted using Partiko iOS
Sounds far better. I actually didn't get a chance to take a look at the original one. But now that I read it, it sucks. You are a far better writer. It appears that the first one was written by a foreigner or a 4th grader? Let's petition this. But how are you gonna get @ned's attention? He's too busy riding the steem wave, which by the way is a flat line. grr / Now come to think of it... what about all the translations from the Google Translator?!! I bet it's even worse!
I actually just posted a link to this in discord while he was speaking in an interview, but didn't get a response.
Keep posting something similar. Don't give up. We gotta try to fight this one.
You nailed it right @ura-soul. The message is simpler to understand.
Thanks!
Yes most definitely an improvement.. A vision or mission statement should be easy for all to digest not just your board members. Which is how the clunky awkward stinc version reads, but so does their UI... So, at least they’re consistent
Posted using Partiko iOS
haha.. thanks
Way better to read! But somehow sad that you are doing there job, lol.
Thanks :)
I do think they your own version of the writing makes more sense and can be more understood by an average person
Thanks for the feedback
I think your version is more suited to the ordinary person! less technical, which I think is an improvement!
Thanks - that was part of the aim, yes.
Much better 👍 less techy feel more humanly
Posted using Partiko iOS
agreed, your wording reads better to me
Thanks :)