Watershed: A Memoir - Chapter Four

CHAPTER 4

“TO THE WOLVES”
The sound of a train passing by every few hours continued to wake me up momentarily through the night and into the morning. Voices would also startle me awake as they were heard nearby from time to time. I would peep out between the boards of the pallet shelter and blankets to see the figures walking past. I was afraid by not knowing if I was seen or noticed by the strangers, or if maybe that the person who made this shelter would return and lay claim.
For a few days that bridge would be my home. I still made trips to the Salvation Army and the Mission for meals. Even though I was kicked out of the mission, I was still allowed to eat two of the three meals they served there, just not allowed to stay. By this time, I had other people with me underneath the bridge. Chewy had been kicked out for 60 days for coming back to the mission intoxicated. Brendan had also come back too late while he was out at another Church eating dinner. So they both had slept next to me under the bridge and we lit little fires at night and shared the blanket that was in the pallet box. I felt safer having other people with me that I could somewhat trust so that I wouldn't be an easy target for some midnight straggler or robber. I would reason with myself that it wouldn't make sense for someone to rob a person living under a bridge. One would surmise that a homeless man probably doesn't have much money or any at all. I also worried about people who would beat up the homeless or even kill them as they saw them as useless or parasites of society. We would occasionally gather up a few dollars to get some forty ouncers' and rolling tobacco or weed. I know there was a time when I had proclaimed that I was done with drugs but being homeless is depressing and the fact that no one would call me back about jobs brought me down. I still diligently continued looking for work. Finding money to buy cigarettes, beer and once in a while a joint was the daily cycle that got me through my new existence. It was my escape from the bitter reality.
Night was coming now we had all slept under the bridge and everyone was sound asleep, the fire was now just dwindling down to embers. The passing of cars overhead lessened with the hours. My eyes became heavy and I started to drift away, the sound of an approaching train heard in the distance. The train steadily grew closer and closer until I could see it coming around. A loud horn blew and smoke rose up from it and it was black with a red glow around it. It was an odd sight at a distance and was very unsettling. Finally the train was passing by and I could see the train cars were fully ablaze with two dark shadow like figures on the back of a rail car, shoveling hot fiery coals overboard. I could feel the heat while I looked over to my fellow friends who were asleep. 'It was impossible' I thought, for people to be amidst the flames but nonetheless there they were. For a minute I thought this could be a dream and before I knew it the train was gone into the night but not before it blew the horn again; a single haunting roar as it trailed off into the distance.
Morning had arrived, after seeing the train I had become scared and didn't manage much sleep at all. Chewy had woken up and was lighting a cheap filtered cigar and gave me one, which I lit up then acknowledged him.

“Hey Chewy, I saw something crazy last night!” I said to him in a hushed tone while reconstructing the image in my mind.
“Yeah?” He asked raising a brow.
“Your not gonna believe me but this train that passed by last night.. it was on fire!” I exclaimed.
He paused for a moment as if some distant memory had come into recollection, he took another drag off his cigar. Then looked me in the eye while cracking a wry smile.

“I've seen it a few times; I call it the Hell train.” He spoke softly.
I didn't know what to think at that time. Chewy had been a little bit crazy and was waiting on back pay from social security because he had been diagnosed as mentally disabled. He said that you always got denied the first time you apply and then after you appeal you usually win if you have a good case, and of course a Lawyer. I just dismissed the situation and happened to look over my shoulder. I saw a short Hispanic man about middle aged silently strolling through the grass path that led to the bridge. Off in the distance the sun was rising slowly but it was dark outside and still early in the morning. He got closer and could see he was wearing a denim jacket and a ball cap with jeans. Upon recognition, Chewy stood up and waved to him.

“Hey Fernando!” He yelled all smiles.
Brendan woke up from his sleep and sat up against the bridge wall. Fernando approached us then stopped over by where we were sitting and drew out a small pouch of tobacco then began to roll up a cigarette.

“Hey Chewy, how are you doing?” Fernando asked in struggled English.
“Not much, what have you been up to Amigo?” Chewy countered while laughing.
“Oh, just trying to find work.” Fernando answered.
We sat there, I introduced myself and shook his hand being glad that he was a friendly visitor. Fernando said he was trying to make his way out to Los Angeles so he could find some work. He had been locally working as a laborer at a few construction sites but now work had dried up. Fernando asked if we wanted to go to Los Angeles also, mentioning that there was plenty of work out there. I declined almost immediately although briefly I entertained the idea. The fact remained for us that Chewy had probation and wasn't allowed to leave the state and I didn't know this
guy well enough.

Fernando was kind and gave us half a pouch of tobacco to share before he went on his way. Brendan was talking about looking for mushrooms once the weather warms up and his plans for where he would be eating the day. The desperation to escape reality had now turned into an art form for him. The sun was rising now through the trees on the other side of the tracks. My staggered gaze caught the view of a few other homeless guys that came down the path who sat on the stone boulders that lay there. Over time I learned it was kinda the drinking spot that everyone went to after meals at the mission. They passed a bottle back and forth between each other then afterward I saw Tee walking down the tracks by himself. Chewy waved over at him and he came over to us with a smile on his face.

“Whats up Stefan, Chewy?” He waved back.
“Hey Brendan,” He added.
“Not much man, I guess you don't work today?” I asked.
“No I don't, I am about to get a beer though. Do you guys want one?” He offered.
Tee was cool at times, he would buy us a beer or food every now and then. He worked as a heavy equipment operator but only made minimum wage through a staffing company. The Mission made him give most of his money to them for safe keeping so when he saves up enough he can would be able to get his own place. With the rest of his money he had left he would drink up. It was clear to us that he was gay, but we all had made it known a few times that we didn't swing that way. He acknowledged and didn't try to make things weird for us.
We walked up to the gas station and got some cheap chili dogs and some beer. The chili dogs were self made so we always loaded them to the max, so we definitely got our money's worth. The clerks knew that we were homeless and sometimes treated us like crap, but that was fine to me because the other gas station was a mile away. After getting the stuff, we walked back down the trail back underneath the bridge cracking jokes and laughing along the way.

“Thanks Tee this made my morning man!” I thanked him, happy to have food and an escape.
“Yeah thanks bud.” Chewy added, Brendan raised his beer in appreciation.
“You good, you good.” Tee said smiling waving away further thanks.
A man came walking past us and Tee looked over at him and waved but he didn't wave back. He just kept walking, then Tee stood up.
“Whats up Greg, you okay?” He asked puzzled.
“Fuck you Faggot!” The man scolded as he continued walking.
Tee just sat down, oddly not really taken aback from what the man said. He asked for a cigarette from us and took a swig of his malt liquor.
“What was that all about?” I inquired confused.
“Well, I'm kinda used to it,” He started while staring off.
“There's a lot of guys I know that do stuff with me, like you know, gay stuff. But then around other people they act totally different, and call me a fag or queer in front of them.” He answered with a slightly slurred speech.

I chuckled inside a bit at the fact that there were so many of them around. Here I am, a straight guy in this town which had many homosexuals. Even when I lived in Cincinnati, it was rare for me to see one let alone a dozen like I did up there. So many Churches were in this part of Ohio and I thought that was odd considering the other abundance.

The day quickly passed on, we got another round of beers and then it was about time for dinner at the Mission. I got down to half a forty and it was getting close to leave so we all passed the bottle around and finished it off. We hopped down from the concrete platform and walked over to the tree line. Past the boulders we strolled and over to where the trail that led up into the park was. We passed through the thin group of trees and brush to the pathway that was behind the black iron fence that encompassed the park. It was easier to lean forward and pivot through the fence, since it had a wide gap between the bars, but was too tall for me to step over. There were always people in the park, many picnic tables and some benches that lined the walkways that were always littered. All in our group were talking amongst each other, when all of a sudden a Police cruiser came barreling through the grass. I quickly looked over and see two other cruisers coming through, surrounding all sides of the park. Several police officers step out, and start telling everyone in the park to stop. I was pretty shocked and surprised how things were going down.

“Stop, stay right there!” They would say as they closed in on people herding us into one big group.
I wasn't quite sure what was going in and we were halfway through the park already, some people a little bit ahead of us continued walking so I followed suit.
“Hey! Hey, you four walking there -stop now!” A female police officer ordered us.
Three police walked over: One was a short, attractive light skinned black woman, another was a short stocky bald middle aged white guy with sun glasses and another white cop but tall, young and thin with brown hair. They all had their hands on their sidearms; ready for resistance.

“Whats going on?” I asked puzzled.
“Okay I need you all to put your hands up in the air now!” the tall cop barked ignoring my question.
“Why what did we do wrong..?” I added but was ignored.
At this point I was the only one who hadn't put my hands up in the air. Looking off on the other areas of the park, I could see a lot of other people being frisked by other police officers. I was stunned that they would just drive in the grass in the middle of a park, just get out and corral up everybody that was in it like cattle. The tall cop walked over sensing that I was not cooperating.

“Put your hands in the air” He demanded.
“Okay, but just so you know: I don't consent to warrantless searches and seizures. You can't legally search me unless you have probable cause -which you don't have. I am just walking through a park to get dinner at the Mission that is on the other side.” I stated defiantly.

The three were taken aback for a moment and the others started searching my friends that I was with, who were saying 'yes sir' and 'no sir' to the police officers inquiries. The tall guy stepped forward moving closer to me.

“Well, your in a bad area that is our probable cause,” he started.
“No! That is bullshit and you know it! That is not probable cause,” I asserted indignantly.
“Well were gonna search you anyways. Now put your hands up!” he yelled, sneering.
“We'll just for the record, I did not consent to this.” I told them while raising up my hands.
The cop then proceeded to pat me down and found nothing on me except for my wallet, which he pulled out and looked inside. He took out every piece of paper I had in it along with my old debit cards and some business cards from various places I had applied for employment. Next he pulled out an appointment card that I had from when I saw a doctor because depression had set in while being homeless.

“Awe.. whats a matter you sad?” he said Grinning as the other cops laughed also.
“Don't be going through my personal items.. you didn't find anything illegal now leave us alone,” I demanded.
The Police Officer kept going through my stuff and would read each article out loud while the other Officers stood there snickering. I felt violated as I wasn't doing anything wrong and the search was unconstitutional in the first place. Then after pulling everything out of my wallet he finds a picture of Anna that she had sent me a year ago in the mail. With a smirk on his face he thew down all my stuff on the ground and Anna's picture landed in the mud.

“Pick up your shit or we will charge you with littering.” He boasted with a smirk the others chimed in laughing.
This situation had really set me off and I was now livid:
“So, what were you guys in high school, huh? Fucking 'hall monitors' or something?” I said to them boldly.
They stopped and turned.
“You guys are fucking dorks, look at you. Here you are picking on someone who is homeless.” I said.
“Fuck you!” I yelled.
They stood there silent, not a word was spoken. I think I struck a nerve with them, maybe they were used to people being afraid of them and subservient. I had already sunk so low as it was by being homeless and sleeping under a bridge exposed to the elements, eating shitty meals each day and not having a job. Damn right I was pissed and I wasn't going to take it anymore.

“Why do you have sun glasses on? I don't see any sun out idiot!” I said to the short bald cop who had the sunglasses.
“I bet you guys got picked on in high school, that's why your out here bullying other people. You got a sick twisted complex. Piss off!” I said once again boldly noting the dismay on their faces which pleased me greatly.

Oddly, they all just walked away and I didn't hear anything else from them. I picked up all my stuff they had thrown to the ground, and scraped off the mud that was on Anna's picture. They were assholes, they got me so upset. I looked over again and now noticed they were walking off to their next victim. A guy who stayed at the mission, an old man who never gave anyone any problems, were being roughed up and interrogated. A few other police officers were taking some people to a 'Paddy wagon' they had parked on the side of the park. Tee, Chewy and Brendan, who were all amazed at my defiance, all began walking again towards the mission. My mind was still stoked in the fire of defiance.

“Hey fuck you! Damn pigs!” I screamed off towards the Officers.
A group of people from the mission walked over to the side of the park and started to watch the spectacle that ensued.
“Hush Stefan! You will go to jail man,” I could hear Tee and Chewy urging me.
“I don't fucking care, fuck the Police!” I retorted.
“Hey you pieces of shit go to hell!” I screamed once more towards the group of police.
A few laughs came from the onlookers
who were watching this all unfold. I could see that I got the attention of the police and the short bald guy with sun glasses turn his head at me and they waved at me signaling for me to go away.

“Dorks!” I yelled one last time.
As if striking some childhood haunting memory, the short bald police officer came running at me full speed, his hands swinging at his side as he sprinted towards me. I just stood there when he tried to tackle me, but instead he bounced off me and fell onto the ground. I stepped back from the impact and saw his face in the grass, he then stumbled up and swung my arm around joining my other arm. I was laughing at this point while the onlookers erupted into laughter as well. The police officer put me in handcuffs and out of breath he said:

“Your under arrest for interfering with the duties of a police officer.”
“Bull shit.” I taunted.
I was then walked over to a paddy wagon where two other guys were inside. Sitting on the small bench with the handcuffs on was very uncomfortable. It was like the vehicle was designed for maximum discomfort. One police officer, a few minutes later came over to the paddy wagon with a few more guys. At this point I was still yelling outside the little window they had, as defiant as ever. The police officer accused me of threatening him so I defiantly just called him a few more names. Some of the people that were in the wagon with me were trying to calm me down and said I was only making things worse.

'I'm going to jail anyways,' I thought.
'I might as well give them hell about it.'
After about half an hour the van we were in drove off to the local jail which was close by. Once arriving I was last to get out the van. Inside the door, after the police officer checked in his weapons, we were led to a small room with a glass wall with a man on the other side. Two big burly looking police officers were patting people down for contraband and then placing their property onto the metal tray. Next they slid their belongings over to the other side where the man sat writing down records.
Now it was my turn to step in, I decided to resist the Police as much as possible and give them a hard time. I was told to step in and put my feet on the red outlines that were painted on the floor.

“Put your hands up, spread your legs..” one of the burly Officers ordered.
I didn't say anything and just stood there motionless.
“Put your hands up and spread your legs now!” he demanded.
Still, I didn't comply and then quickly he slammed my face up against the glass wall where the other man who was taking records was just inches away from me sitting.
“It's best if you just follow directions boy.” he said to me through the microphone plainly while my face was hard pressed against the glass.

The two cops continued searching me and then undid my belt searching for contraband in my private areas. After a minute or two, I signed the paper and they put my wallet in a plastic bag. My pants were still around my ankles, one of the cops pushed me out the door when they were done and I fell to the floor with my jeans wrapped around my ankles. I stumbled up trying to pull up my pants with handcuffs on to no avail so I just shuffled over to the cell they pointed for me to go into.
There was a concrete slab, a stainless steel toilet combined with a sink and a stainless steel intercom on the wall inside the cream colored cell. In front of the concrete slab, which was probably what would be the bed, were two iron loops made of rebar embedded in the concrete. At this point I was still very upset and rebellious so I started pushing the intercom button demanding to be released and yelling that I was here under an illegal arrest. I continued to do this for about a half hour until I saw eight guards approaching my cell, not wanting to get another charge I immediately sat on the slab.
They came into the cell and pinned me onto the slab and shackled me to the floor, also handcuffed me. One of the guards was putting all his weight on his knee into my back and they taunted me. For some reason they thought I was a college student. I told the man who was trying to hurt me that he was a girl and told him to try and hurt me more. They all then later left the room slamming the cell door behind them. After about two minutes I took off one of the sandals they provided me with and threw it at the button on the intercom on the wall that I could no longer reach. The button was struck and turned the intercom on.

“Let me out!” I screamed one last time.
All I could see through the little window was a guard just shaking his head.
I smiled.
Hours had passed and then finally they came in and unshackled me so they could take fingerprints and information. The buzz I had was worn off now and I had little to no fight left in me. After getting my information they sent me to the general population of the jail where I received my cell. Another inmate was already inside and was laying on the top bunk. It was evening at this time so I decided to just get some rest and try to see if the court would release me the next day after arraignment. I was not really depressed at this point considering all I did was just yell at a cop. After all, it wasn't like I was going to prison or anything.