You ever go through a period of time where everything is going wrong. One thing after the next? That is my situation right now. I feel like I have a whole deck of cards to go against and I have one card to pull an ace. If i do not pull the ace everything is going to turn to shit. I am having problem after problem. What is going to happen next?

Will I get the ace?

Well it all started when my gfs @densgirl94 grandma passed.

I never met her but i have heard plenty of stories from @densgirl94. I hope she is getting some rest. I instantly feel horrible that i did not meet her and i do not think i can celebrate her life like my gfs family. I feel guilty. I feel rude. I got to meet her extended family. Personally I do not know how to deal with a family. I can do well with random people but with families it feels like all of my confidence goes away. I feel like I am going to be instantly rejected and i have to do certain things to make people happy. My gf said not to worry but it got worse. Isnt it weird I can talk to people randomly but when it comes to people that are going to be part of my life in the future i have a panic. Anxiety the only time I do have it.

Anxiety

And there is no way for me to hide it. I am one hell of a emotional person and people can see right through that. OH god what am i talking about i am fucking selfish. A person just died and look at me panicking. They can see me sweating looking up and down. All these thoughts going through my head. What do they think of me. Am I looking good enough for my gf. Talking so fast just to try to start a conversation. Every conversation feels forced. I tried to play the lets not talk game but then I got anxious that i just tried to talk to every single person i seen. Half of them liked me the other half i do not know. I tried hard but i felt like i failed.

CAT escape

Next thing that happened was my white cat escaped from the house. I did not even notice the cat gone for a long time. i looked randomly one day and i could not find her. I call her name every night. i hear a meow. She is under the next doors neighbors deck. I chase her around with the flashlight i almost catch her but she ran in place i could not see.

i lost the only picture i have of her

This is from google.com

And that was it. I have not seen her since and i miss her so much. I was like why didnt I use a hose on the bastard to get it to run out of the deck. I would go over there everyday to feed the cat. my other neighbor said they might of possibly seen it so i am switching over two houses every other night sneaking in my neighbors yard. One time i was on the ground and the next door neighbor came outside. She looked everywhere but where i was. I felt like a spy that was on the mission to save a cat. I am surprised the cops have not been called on me. A month passes some food days skipped and i get enough steem to get a trap. I used the trap I caught one of the feral cats outside. But I had to let it go because it is a brand new mother and it needs to take care of kittens. Use the trap again and I caught the mother of all cats inside my families home.

Thanks to steemit i caught this asshole cat.

Litterally this cat is a pest it made so many cats. We catch it and we try to calm it down.

It scratches @densgirl94

It is a cunt it escapes and goes under my computer desk.. I put my hands under there carefully and grab her by her waist. I stuff her into the cat carrier. We are going to get rid of her by taking her to the welfare. She is also pregnant so i am glad I am not dealing with 3 litters. Yes 3 litters of kittens.

MY other cat escaped but came back and it just birthed a few kittens in the basement. Yesterday! Those are easy though let em grow for a few weeks and grab them and take em to the welfare.

I wake up one day and @densgirl94 has a kitten in her hands and i am like where did you get that? Oh i got it from the outside. i look outside for more kittens and there is a deck board that is lifted up that she did. I was like holy shit this is kinda bad but kinda good at the same time cuz I could just swoop in there to get cats now. But it would be annoying to put back. She calls the non emergency police and they take the kitten to the welfare. I have cat ptsd.

Broken Fridge

Halfway into that cat month my fridge went out. Plug it back in cools off for 2 hours makes a weird noise and now the freezer acts like the fridge and the fridge is warm as the sun. @densgirl94 bought a ton of food for the house and it all got destroyed because of that. We chip off ice. It cools down for one day then the next day the fridge goes out. Back to square one with that.

Lawnmower is fucked up.

AND another problem that i had was I needed oil for my lawnmower. The shit is starting to piss me off. whenever i use my lawnmower it dies out after i push it like 3 feet. I get oil for the lawnmower thanks to everyone on steemit. I put the oil in it seems like it is working better! PUSH PUSH FINALLY I CAN GET SOMETHING DONE. Dies. Yanks the cord pulls it once and THE MOTHERFUCKING cord broke. IT WENT BACK INTO THE LAWNMOWER. what the fuck do i do now. Well i gotta wait to order a cord now and work on that. LOL i just guess ill pull weeds to make it look like the yard is doing good man.

You knew this was coming

Games on my computer are acting weird too. Like the textures in the games are not loading are black squares. I knew this was coming. Now i go to a town in a game and all the squares are starting to be like jiggly and that is a sign that your gpu is about to die. I am prepared thanks to steemit. I got myself a tablet with a keyboard which is going to be my main hub for steemit and everything i do online. Thank you @everyone who has given me love.

noobs mistake

Ah yes. I know what I could try doing now! Investing in crypto. I put 50 bucks in LTC. I watch the trades and that alone was interesting. All the numbers and what people do with their orders interests me. I get bored of it and anxious but I sold it for what I got it for. I put it in bcc and it was moving so crazily up down up down up down I almost watched it for a whole day. Something that I never thought id do. lost 10 bucks. I do not feel half bad about it. I take the btc and put it into ether. Now it aint leaving. I learned my lesson. I think if i want to invest it is going to be smaller amounts. Or i will study so hardcore that I will understand the right time for it. I think this was the best learning experience out of all the frusteration I have had. I just gotta be patient. This is not like a video game. I have to be like a snake in the grass or a sniper waiting to take out its target. When i see it boom.

Through all of this I might be a little upset. And frusterated. But i think everything will be ok in the long run. I am sure this happens to every single human being. We all have our ups and downs. I just need to do what I can for this situation and I want to use this post as a rant to get over what is happening. I hope you do not mind. Sorry. I will try my hardest anyway.

Oh well thank you all for reading. Ill get over this soon.