Shocking: How to become a Whale.

Recently I've been doing research on how to become a whale, this involved several hours researching whales in science journals and on Wikipedia. I learned that whales need water! Shocking right, they're already more like us humans than I could have ever thought.
-You see many years ago a book was wrote called Moby Dick, thought fictitious at the time described a creature so massive living in the ocean!

As we can see here the earth contains seven oceans, I sadly do not own one so my shower will have to do. Same thing right? Gets me as wet as a whale in the ocean.

So Step 1 complete, having a viable source of water to constantly flow around me I set out to learn what else will make me a whale and I learned that whales need food to survive, I thought that they just survived on being there and having countless followers!
-After reading various articles I learned that most whales eat a small organism called plankton! I never heard of plankton before however I assumed it was like vegemite, after doing additional research I found the following picture.

I was never big into SpongeBob Squarepants as a kid, but I know plankton is evil. Also given that I have not been eating plankton my entire life, I knew I needed to find larger plankton that can catalyze inside of me and create steroids.

Great, I now know where whales live and what they eat. I am currently inside my shower eating spoonful's of what I believe is plankton, it does not taste good but I expect the following results within the week.

So for now I will leave all you Steemians with my future picture and say goodnight and good luck.

#satire