How not to be successful in terms of $$$ on the Steem Blockchain (In five easy to read points with fun pictures000!) YAY!

I've been on this bad boy for well over a year. I'm an experienced pro. Many other people who have been on as long as me, or even shorter earn way more. I'm a constant $2 a post kind of guy, and a lot of that comes from my own SP.
So what's my secret to my lack of success in terms of $$$?

This is not an exhaustive list, but I will teach you my ways in 5 points:

1.) Shit posting. Is this what the internet was designed for? Man I cannot shit post enough every day. Feels so good. Some people don't like it, or think that content should be long unlike what the regular shit post is, but who knows... maybe shit posting makes up 90% of the internet's core structure.

2.) Not socializing. Personally I find it difficult with the concept of being disembodied whether a wall of text or audio. If I am not in person with you how will I karate chop you in the throat if you get out of hand? Since being on Steemit for over a year I have only posted 2900 times. I rarely post comments. After reaching a certain amount of followers my feed became unreadable, and I barely look at it. I remember the early days of my small feed fondly, but am WAY TOO LAZY to unfollow all those people. And do I even want to?

3.) Not complaining enough. When you have been on the Steem blockchain long enough you have the right to complain and demand a pay rise. You have to moan though, and talk about some sort of illness or other pathetic tripe. Real X-factor shit. I'm not into that. But good luck if you do, and remember that humans emotionally manipulate each other all the time. It is totally normal.

4.) Don't niche. I just write about whatever I want instead of focusing on a niche or my reader-base (whoever you are). I call myself an Irish writer, poet & lover, but how often do I talk about love making? This makes my content all over the show, so people won't know whether it is the kind of stuff they will like until they read it. And ain't nobody got time for that!

5.) Always think about them $$$. I may not be successful in terms of post value, but I have accumulated a lot of SP. So don't sell your SP. If you follow steps 1-4, step 5 is important to accumulation of Steem. Don't think that anyone will ever find your shit posts of value. You gotta carry that weight...

6.) Don't use photos. I do this all the time. Sometimes I like to think that the writing is the matter of my subject, and that if people want to vote on a photo they can do that somewhere else, but who knows. Humans like to upvote things with photos. Maybe that just bae.

7.) Don't listen to people. Especially those who tell you how to be successful on the Steem blockchain.

8.) Lie about how long the list is. And really let the humor dry.

@RiskDebonair