"It's not you. It's me." Or why Steemit is like dating.steemCreated with Sketch.

in steemit •  last year

It wasn't long after I was introduced to Steemit that I first felt a spark. The site had all the qualities I was looking for -- an engaged community, a diverse selection of content and ideas, and a feasible way to earn money.

Wanting to make a good impression, I decided to post some of my previous best work. I selected a variety of topics -- finance, family, travel, photography -- and then stepped back, waiting to see if Steemit wanted anything I had to offer.

IMG_2800.JPG photo courtesy of GraphicStock.com

It didn't take long before I began to suspect that the interest was mutual. Fellow Steemians generously commented on and upvoted my posts. My reputation score and number of followers steadily climbed.

I responded in kind, upvoting, commenting on and following writers, photographers and videographers whose work I enjoyed. There were so many to choose from, so much to see and read, that it consumed all of my time. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I became infatuated.

Then one of my posts hit triple-digit upvotes and double-digit dollars. I was elated. Could Steemit be the real deal? Had I finally found the one?

Without a doubt, I was falling in love. I started making plans, imagining the long and prosperous future we would surely have together: enjoying long walks and lattes paid for in steem dollars; curling up on the couch, surrounded by the clicking of little laptop keys.

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But my next few posts failed to launch, garnering only a handful of votes and even fewer cents. Unsettling doubt crept in and I worried that I had professed my love for Steemit too soon, only to be firmly placed in "the friend zone."

What did I do wrong? I stressed. What should I do different?

Why doesn't Steemit like me?

IMG_2802.JPG Photo courtesy of GraphicStock.com

Like anyone in the throws of a romantic crisis might do, I confided my worries to a friend -- a more experienced Steemian who was one of the first to offer encouragement and support when I joined the site. You may know him as @mindhunter. This is what he said:

"It is the nature of the beast. There is no uniform smoothness here. Like the universe, Steemit is chaotic and absurd."

It was as if Steemit had grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "It's not you. It's me."

Then @mindhunter offered the advice I needed to hear. "Never take any of it personally. Never attach yourself to one post. Just keep rolling onto the next one."

These wise words pulled me out of my funk and reminded me of who I strive to be. Not a gold digger, or someone who rabidly, desperately chases after romantic interests. No, my approach to dating, and to life, has always been to do my best to put my best self out to the world, and then to let it go.

I still have a huge crush on Steemit and the Steemit community, but I'm less concerned with how much Steemit likes me back and less afraid of rejection. Because what I'm really here for, what I enjoy most about this relationship, is that it allows me an opportunity to create what I love.

And when I'm done, to set it free.

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Ah yes, our relationship with Steemit must be "for richer for poorer"... as you quickly observed there are times of plenty and times of cents! Never mind, the community experience is RICH here, unlike FB or other sites, so after a short while the people you connect with become more exciting than the rewards you get :-)

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Absolutely! Some of my posts that brought in the fewest $ got really great comments. I feel like that alone is worth the effort to create them.

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:-) I like that you think that. Sometimes I come online, look at my comments/replies, and forget to even check how much the post has made!!! Surely that's proof this community is special! I wish you all the best @redhens, it seems you fit in very well already :-)

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There is no rule I know of against reposting some of the old stuff. I have been thinking about it. Maybe freshen it up a bit. Maybe a bit of repackaging, and put it out there again in between other new content. The way I see it is there are new folks coming along all the time.

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I like this idea. That's one of the few things that I don't love about this site -- it seems like the content has a very short shelf-life. Which is similar to other social media sites, but one of the reasons I'm not sure I'd totally replace my blog with a Steemit blog.

Beautifully written words @redhens. I'll let you into a little secret: I've never been on here for the money - that would mean my ego would be involved. I'm just here to create from pure spirit - not to make people understand. Once you understand that @redhens, the place becomes limitless, chaotic and almost anarchistic :) UV and RS! 12/10! Steem on :)

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Great advice. As a newcomer to Steemit, I've also gone through similar ups and downs. I agree with you that it's not about the money, but about sharing your ideas in an honest thoughtful manner with an engaged community. Thanks.

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Money people who make it about the money are gone from Steemit within 6 weeks!

Hi @redhens. @mindhunter is right (as he is most of the time!). Some of my posts have failed abysmally to spark any interest and you're right to liken it to being in a relationship. Rejection hurts. I'm taking the view that posting on here has improved my writing, given me inspiration and made me look anew at things. I hope to see more of your posts in the future.

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Come on this platform with ego and it's like a rat on the sinking ship of being - it ain't gonna end well. But remove that rat (ego) and the world is yours on here :)

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You're so right. As in life - just keep on and do the best you can. Things tend to come out good in the end.

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Live rat-free and your ship will be just fine.

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You're right -- there are so many benefits to participating on this site that the money, if it comes, is just icing on the cake.

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Keep it as the icing and it's plain sailing @redhens ... picking up $'s nicely I see :)) Good luck from your big brother! <3

Also, some of your posts were picked up by Curie. They look around for promising new comers and come equipped with a lot of voting power. They can only do so much though. You won't get that big line of votes more than once in a day. They helped a lot of us get started and gain traction. Once your reputation gets to a certain level, you're on your own! Just keep doing what you enjoy doing, build up a loyal following, and you'll be fine.

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That's good to know! There's so much that I haven't figured out about this site yet. But the people on here - like you - are awesome and very helpful. My biggest goal is to share stuff that others enjoy, which is measured better by what's said in the comments than by $.

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Here's something else I wish I would have known early on.... Top right corner there's a menu. Select currency market. That's the best way to convert the Steem Backed Dollars into Steem and then Steempower if you feel like powering up. You'll want to watch the price though. You might kick yourself in the butt if you sell when the value of Steem is high.


Bhagavad Gita: Chapter 17 Verse 25
Without desiring fruitive results, one should perform various kinds of sacrifice, penance and charity with the word tat. The purpose of such transcendental activities is to get free from material entanglement.

Love the relatability! Took the words right out my mouth 😁 This is everything I have been thinking since I joined Steemit a few weeks ago now. Love this post @redhens.

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Thank you. Glad I'm not the only one. 😀

I so totally know what you mean. I experienced the exact same things. I have been around the block a time or two online before though. I learned a long time ago from YouTube that to be happy, I needed to post what I wanted and not try to chase the crowd. Great post!!

Great post, and really appreciate your honesty. As a new Steemian, I also grappled with similar emotions. Thanks for sharing and Steem on!