Setback

Art is the most volatile of all endeavors, solely due to its inescapably permanent attachment to life. I'm not sure that any of us have a choice; I think we might all be artists, slowly making a lifelong catalog, the success of which is measured on an individual scale. Malcontent whales with an almost cliche jealousy of the unbridled vagabond they pass one day look back on their work with regret and a longing to do it all different while the peripatetic man joyously recalls his lifelong freedom; the whole time the rest of the world uses their own performances to gauge the success of these two. Most celebrated is the desire to strip yourself of attachment and love of income in hopes of reaching some vaguely defined (at best) notion of authenticity.

It's crap.

Ultimately self-satisfaction is the goal, and what provides this satisfaction differs from person to person. By all means- if material comfort and security are what provides this satisfaction for you, then chase it. I can't stand this new age "reject-everything tangible or you're invalid namaste" garbage. If you sympathize with the cast of RENT, then you're view is just as valid, but for fucks sake shut up; believe it or not, it is possible for your art to have a cathartic impact on your life while simultaneously profiting from it. Yesterday a woman, a fellow trans woman who as best I can tell has the same financial needs as me, tried to guilt trip me for wanting payment should we film together; her claim was that too many people are in porn for the money.

Fuck
Off

I could go on and on about how everyone has to eat and that if you're not putting food on the table then somethings gotta change, but that's been said to death and there's nothing original I could add to the discussion. It's still worth considering, though. Your life is a show; art doesn't end because you ran out of paint or film or clay. The true goal of any artist is to leave an imprint on the world that remains fresh through generations, and if money is a part of that imprint then fine.

This shit bothers me. Alot.

So why did I call this post setback? It's a bit tongue-in-cheek; originally I felt the need to justify why I was going to continue writing despite the fact that I haven't yet attained as much currency as some of my peers, but fuck that. There doesn't need to be a justification-I like writing, it's cathartic, steemit is an artistic endeavor, and if this post gets a million upvotes then all the better. I'm strange maybe.