"I've been seeing more and more posts about these trails in the sky and no one seems to know what they are", a Steemit user laments on the trending page.

Well, in a sensational Steemit exclusive, I can tell you this:

I now have proof of what these chemtrails really are!

I was travelling in Italy with a few mates, and just as we had stopped to see what the large crowd was about, these planes roared past! In a stunning display of arrogance, they didn't even try to hide their true colours:

We immediately whipped out our spectrometers (we never travel without those) to identify the sprayed chemicals. You can see one of us in the red jacket and aluminium helmet doing a measurement, which told us the chemtrails were red, white, and green!

Closer inspection even revealed some spectral lines, and we were, for the first time, able to determine in detail what the chemicals were:

• The green trail: FeSO₄, or iron(II)sulphate. This chemical causes constipation when ingested.
• The white trail: H₂O₂ + CO(NH₂)₂, or carbamide peroxide, which can bleach your hair.
• The red trail: Co(NO₃)₂, or cobalt nitrate, which causes itching of the skin.

You can Google all the chemicals, their colours and what they can do to you if you don't believe me, I'm not just making this up.

We are still trying to figure out why the Illuminati would want to turn all of us into a constipated, blond population with an itch, but at least we have identified the chemicals!

STEEM ON!

_{Photo by Vasile Cotovanu, from Wikimedia, under a CC BY-SA 2.0 license, with additions by me.}