Woah there! Where in the story did I say this was how things really are?
Oh wait... I said it right in the footnote. My bad.
Given your username I would think that you would understand this is all meant to be very light-hearted. I don't think anyone reading this is taking it as truth.

Also, newbies don't expect to be whales (they wouldn't mind though). They want what we all want - to make a few bucks off a post.