💉 Flew Shot April 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ 04/06 Tuesday Steemit Blog Post - JP Steinberg
💉 Flew Shot April 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ 04/06 Tuesday Steemit Blog Post - JP Steinberg
Flew Shot is the title of my serial posts about whatever random things a g'won. From writing about blogging to promoting my podcasting career, curating music & art to writing about sociopolitical issues, I'll create one of these at least weekly, often more. I will also sometimes use specific tags and communities for these posts.
It's only Tuesday and I feel like it's been a long fucking week.
I know I keep promising to deliver some really positive content. It's not there's a shortage of it here. It's that there is also no shortage of complete and total fuckery. I'm often reminded of the saying "first world problems", and I'm certain some of what I deal with cold be categorized as such. But then I also recall living in a third world country and I remember how culturally diverse and aware my upbringing and life experience has been and I am forced to understand that the particular first world nation I am forced to reside in has its fair share of societal obstacles which invariably cause tremendous detriment to the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for so many in the lower socioeconomic sectors. And I am referring to anyone less than a multimillionaire and billionaire as the lower class. While I was born into a lower rung of the economic ladder, I have experienced a great deal of monetary success in life and have learned to understand that, if you cannot afford to have a constitutional lawyer on retainer and aren't savvy or scholarly enough or possess the wherewithal to deal with certain matters throughout your life, you face the possibility of being screwed by the arbitrary systems which are in place which you will likely encounter at some point along the way. Or, you could make your way into the deep woods somewhere and live as a hermit foraging and staying out of everyone's way. And even then there's no guarantee you won't be discovered by the wrong person/s.
Today I am left with making a very serious decision which will likely have tremendous impact on my family's life. One option is to try to somehow uproot my family from the single most stable, healthiest and happiest place we've lived in a decade and head back to New Jersey with nowhere to go. Another option is for me to abandon my family and my work here and make my way back to New Jersey where I will have to do a combination of couch surfing and living in a tent in the woods. Another option is to somehow be able to afford to move myself or my family to a different property into a house or apartment and abandon this incredible slice of Earth where we have come to feel so at home and safe and sound. I suppose another option would be to leave my family here and try to find a room or apartment for rent by myself somewhere nearby and one that I could afford. And then another option is to find a friend who would let me lie and say I live there while I actually stay put with my family.
Now you must understand, there is no issue at all with us living here. It is a five acre property in a beautiful affluent neighborhood full of farms in Palm Beach County, Florida. The landlord lives in a house on this property just about 200 feet or so from where we rest our heads at night. He knows we're here, he rented us this place. And now we don't even pay rent. Instead, we barter our landscaping services and keep the property clean in exchange for our habitation. This is a super private little piece of South Florida marsh surrounded by pine and palm trees, grape vines, exotic birds, reptiles, an assortment of cute rodents and larger mammals such as curious families of raccoons and playful little minks. Not to mention the gorgeous butterflies. And for the first time in my life I live in a place where the landlord actually likes and appreciates me and my family tremendously. You're still wondering WTF?
Well, my probation officer in New Jersey has been as cooperative as he can possibly be. This back and forth has been going on for at least two months now with no resolve in sight. Neither I nor my family wish to leave here and the landlord and neighbors have taken no issue with us up to this point. Quite the contrary, we have become even more connected to the neighborhood and community. As local business owners we've networked and connected with other businesses and made some new friends now that COVID restrictions have loosened up here. Our financial situation continues to wax and wane but we've learned to budget and manage our time, money and resources to a great extent and continue to grow and learn. We have managed to stay on top of our car and keep it running smoothly for the most part. And we have been pursuing our hobbies, passions and career goals.
And with all the positive productive strides we've made in our lives, there is this looming anxiety we feel collectively as a family unit. It's not as if I'm an absent father and my children wouldn't necessarily feel the loss of their father for a period of time. And although my wife, Mary, is a strong resilient independent woman, we have learned to support one and other and have been committed to raising our children together and pursuing our career paths in tandem. And, while we have so much in common and see so much eye to eye and normally reciprocate a great deal of love, our days are becoming more and more arduous as a deadline to make life altering decisions draws near.
It becomes even more difficult when you are hyper aware of the fact that you've done nothing wrong. That you are to be punished, not for having violated anyone or even having broken a law, but for simply choosing to live peacefully. I have not reoffended and been charged with any new crimes, I remain employed, I am responsible for myself and my children. I have a support network and I even have plans to go to grad school except I've had to put it off until I can be sure I will be allowed to remain living in peace and be allowed to focus on something positive and successful. In my present condition I cannot. I am even having a difficult time being around my children since I am constantly worried about what might happen once probation understands that I am going to choose to stay put and go about my life.
And get this. Yesterday I learned a little more about how unfair and absurd the criminal "justice" system can be. If I do not comply with the probation officers suggestions to return to New Jersey or move elsewhere in Florida, he will eventually have to issue a violation. Now that's not supposed to mean guaranteed jail time. A violation usually results in a court hearing so you get to go before a judge and explain your situation. Often times, a violation can be forgiven and supervisees are given a chance to continue being monitored outside of jail. So, I asked the officer if it would behoove me to have him go ahead and issue the violation so that I may have my day in court. He explained to me that the problem is twofold; eventually Florida will ask NJ to instruct me to return, at which time, if I do not arrive in NJ within about 15 days a bench warrant will be issued by the courts. That means that even if there is a court hearing scheduled, once the warrant is issued that court date is cancelled until I am picked up by the police or turn myself in.
I'm not making any of this shit up. I wouldn't want to. I'm not even able to make time to hang out much with my children because the anxiety is so bad that I can't relax and have fun. I feel like I will snap at every little thing and it's just not fair to them to see me being such an asshole. It's bad enough that this is causing enough stress for Mary and I to not get along as well as we normally do. It's even hard to sit down and pen these blog posts because I really don't want this to be a bitch session. We do have plenty to occupy our time and minds, but, for me, this is something that I cannot shake until it is completely resolved.
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