When will I stop feeling nervous around girls? Will it ever stop?

My wife called me a hoe today.

Well, ‘hoe-girl.’

Which is his version of a compliment.

He came home, I’m sitting in the living room wearing cut-off jean shorts and a gingham shirt. Which, I guess, is what female farmers wear in his world? And female farmers go around carrying hoes?

Right. Okaaay. But rather than say “You are cute. You look like someone who works on a farm (in my retro, misogynistic, 1950’s fantasy)….”

He went with “You look like..a hoe-girl.” Of all the farm equipment to compare me to.

Then he saw my face, and got more flustered, and replaced hoe with another three-letter H-word: Hot. As in, “You look hot.”

Better, right?

Nope. Not when he uses it.

“It’s so fucking hot. How can you wear that long-sleeved shirt? I’m sweating everywhere. I have to go change.” And he runs upstairs.

I’ve been married to Mr. Vrana for 6 years and with him for 11, and he STILL gets nervous and says the wrong thing (by a lot).

Why? Because he’s human. Just like you.

Here’s the deal:

You are not perfect. You will say the wrong thing. You will say stupid things. You will sweat, mess up and lose your cool. And then run away.

That is completely ok.

Because you’re human. (And guess what, so are we).

Trust us to not care. Trust us to forgive you. Trust us to love you anyway.

I promise, we will. The right ones, will.

But we can’t do any of that unless you give us a chance.