The events we experience radically change our perspective where one moment you feel on top of the world and the next moment a difficult problem reverses your positive perspective into negativity, gloom, and doom. Your wonderful short and long term outlook immediately shifts into a negative perspective when life hits you hard with a problem that appears insurmountable. A problem so big you feel it will be the end of you.
It’s good to keep in mind, although during the painful period it’s not always the first though, that out very crisis comes an opportunity. No matter how bleak or dire circumstances may seem, we can’t change them, but we can control how we view them. Again, it’s our perspective, out point of view (P.O.V).
Usually when something bad happens, we take it personally. For instance, when a boss is constantly yelling, demanding and being unreasonable, we feel as though we are not okay, our well-being is in question. In actually, it’s usually not personal, not about us. It feels as though it’s coming at you, so often, we say “Why me?” but its not really about you. It’s usually the other person venting, feeling frustrated angry and when they are holding the emotion. You only take it on if you choose to do so.
Eleanor Roosevelt said it beautifully: “You can’t make someone feel inferior without their consent.”
Now that the bad thing has happened, you have the ability to stop giving it power and energy and to begin feeling free and truly let it go. Only by holding on to the thoughts of the past, can they stay alive. What are you getting out of hanging onto it? The negativity can be draining your energy, taking up time, keeping you from other things. We may want revenge, may want to vent our anger, or choose to stay in the victim ‘poor me’ role, and feel sorry for ourselves. That’s okay initially, but briefly, it becomes a waste of energy when life is continuing without us.
The main choice to transcend it (not often easy when you are enmeshed in the pain) or if possible, do something about it….otherwise you are whining, complaining seems like you are doing something about it when you really are not. What you are doing is feeding the pain or anger so that it stays alive and well. By letting it go, it dies; it disappears; it can be left behind. If you are unhappy with the way your boss or significant other treats you, you could possibly have a talk with him/her explaining how unhappy you are, how their behavior is affecting you; you can leave the job, you can look at the bright side, you have a job, or you could continue to complain and experience the same old, same old. While there are many more options possible, the first one has to how you view the situation, as that’s the only place where you have complete control. By coming into the present and focusing on the positives, no matter how difficult it may be, you are taking control and taking the first step towards freedom.