A family separation for any reason is always painful, not only for mom and dad but also for the children involved. They go from having a family conformed to being part of an adult conflict that will involve them in a negative way.

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It is important that we bear in mind that children come from having a well-formed routine in a functional home and that now it will not be the same, since from now on everything will change abruptly; because as adults we make the grave mistake of involving our children in this conflict, which, although we use it personally, hurts the other by using those who deserve it the least: our children.

Believing that we will harm the couple by not covering the basic expenses of maintenance, or not going to the agreed upon time of visit is the most frequent error. Without knowing that we will mark forever the childhood of those who deserve our full attention, because they did not ask to be part of our life; God gave us that gift of having them. So why hurt them in this way?

We will begin to see children more distracted in classes, introverted, sad and with frequent mood changes and of course as we also walk in that fight of hatred for each other we do not notice these changes until maybe it is too late; like when they bring us low grades, they start getting into trouble at school or just do not attend classes.

We must understand that the struggle they lead is not the same as ours, they do not understand and will depend on how old they are to help them together (mom and dad) to overcome this crisis that although it lasts, more and more children are living it every day .

SPEAKING WITH THE TRUTH

Always speak truthfully in clear language that they understand; remind them that even if they are not together in the same house, mom and dad will continue to love and support them in everything they set out to do. This is very important in the process, because it will give them confidence. Make it very clear that the cause of the separation is not theirs, because in many cases the infants feel that the fault is only theirs when it is not.

EQUAL RULES

Trying to maintain the same rules is important, you can not give more freedom to the boys than mom because this will create rivalry between them and at the same time they will always look for the way to want to be with the one that offers the greatest benefits.

FREE EXPRESSION

As every child and in many cases adolescents need space to have a free expression of ideas and that is where we enter to foster that encounter and give them the freedom to do so, but in an orderly and harmonious way; I know it's hard to do it because I'm also a mother and it's easier said than done, but believe me, it's not difficult. That they freely express what they feel will help us to understand them better and thus find the right tools for any conflict that comes our way.

NOT COMPLYING

It's easy: if you promised to comply, a visit, a gift, an outing to go for a walk. There is nothing that causes more disappointment than a promise that is not fulfilled. This will help build trust between the adult and the child

Do not be the victim of the matter, look for ways to create a healthy environment for your children. Regardless of whether the mother or father is in charge of the children does not see the other as the villain and who is outside the home to help in the upbringing, it is not difficult to be a father, the limitations we impose on us.