How to write a good SPAM comment.
If you've been on this site for more than a few months then you've seen the plague that is SPAM.
When I first started in October 2016 there really wasn't much of it.
However, about 6 to 8 months ago a huge rush of users came onboard the platform.
We started seeing a new type of comment.
Source: Pixabay.com
You're probably thinking....
"Wow SPAM sounds really cool.... How do I get involved?"
Well you're in luck today.
I've created a list of all the things you need to know in order to write an excellent SPAM comment.
1 - Make sure to comment immediately after a post is submitted.
There's nothing on this world that anyone likes more than spending two hours creating a detailed post full of great jokes, stories, pictures, and most of all TIME only to have you, the user, post exactly one second afterward.
No need to read anything. Just hit that reply button.
2 - Don't reference the content of the post at all.
For example, if I write a story about a detective that goes on a crime spree in order to impress his ex-wife, a good SPAM comment would be......
"Nice fiction." or "Your story is impressive."
It's just ambiguous enough to make someone think that maybe you really did read their story. After all, ambiguity is what you're absolutely after on this site.
3 - Make sure to use incredibly odd wording and incoherent grammar.
I love to get a comment that says something like this.
"You are to be making the for me the excellence of words. It is the which is quite honoring to receive such a submit. I thank you again."
Now you see there? It sounds pleasant but I have no idea what you're talking about. When it comes to SPAM that's exactly what you looking for.
4 - Make sure to include a bunch of random praise that has nothing to do with the content of the post.
I think this is my favorite kind of SPAM comment.
"You are most excellent author. Please teach me your words so that I may be like you as well. If I have good choice to be gifted then I will be like you."
Once again this is ambiguous because I have no idea if you read my post, but I'm quite certain that you didn't.
Everybody loves to be praised like this.......especially when it's completely random praise that has nothing to do with who I am as a person or as an author, but simply a stream of compliments that could come from absolutely any source and be about absolutely anything.
5 - Be a Parrot.
I obviously like what I wrote. If I didn't, then I wouldn't have written it.
What better way for me to like your comment then by just taking something that I wrote and parroting it back to me?
For example, if I wrote......
"He wasn't a very good detective after all."
You might want to write....
"He wasn't very good detective after all. @jeezzle. Great fiction."
In this way you are basically parroting back what I already said but also including my name and an ambiguous comment .
Source: Giphy.com
Now obviously there are two types of SPAM comments.
There are the Bots, which are already way ahead of the game.
No matter how hard you try, you can never be as good as a BOT. Trust me, I know.
I once had a girlfriend leave me for a Transformer...... of sorts.
This post isn't meant for the BOTs though,
It is meant for the manual SPAM curators.
You know who I mean.........Those hard working SPAMinators whose job is never finished until they have left a stream of annoying and enticing words behind.
The question is......are you as good as they are?
You will be soon after reading this guide on.....
How to write a good SPAM comment.
That’s what makes Steemit superior over Facebook. We have better quality spam. They got us beat on the fake news tho.
Your next how-to should be on fishing for upvotes.
Honestly I still haven't figured out how to fish for upvotes very well. You're right about the fake news though...... we need to work on that.
roundhere casts mepps spinner toward shore........
Your words are impressive. I like your words.
I like to pretend that some spam comments are genuine. Sometimes when nobody comments, I think - geez, not even the spammers?
Yeah I get that one all the time. Sometimes it sucks that this site is often about who you know. These days when you're a little bit larger you're generally going to at least get some spam comments if nothing else. Frankly I could do without spam.
That was funny.
Please teach me your words. I want to write like you. Follow me, I already follow you.
Don't flag me! I take coin. Tip!
I always get "I upvote and follow. Please do same."
I used to get that one but not so much these days.
JAJAJAJJAJAJ your girlfriend are wife of an transformer jajajjajajajajajjaja auto fight xDD look this is a spam comment you are awesome i love your posts, pls i need more jajaj good so good @jeezzie
This seems like a pretty good parody.
🤣🤣
I was going to gloss over the girlfriend... but yeah. That's an interesting spin off story I would read.
lol. I can imagine your frustration. You are putting your time and efforts in order to share with your followers handsome one will come and spell out some common dialogs or some C#@PY summary report as reply. Don't give up and keep sharing. :) BTW, this post was also a valuable informative for others. :)
Nice change, not that I don’t like your everyday stories, but it’s kind of refreshing. I’m pretty sure @nonameslefttouse would enjoy it. Perhaps he will stop by.
I’m not too long on steemit, in the beginning I made a few mistakes, such as follow to follow and probably some more, but can’t remember much now. However, I have always red the author’s posts first before replying. Main reason is that I have a huge respect for everyone who writes a good post and also that I don’t post much. I tried before, but 0.02 cent is just not worth efforts. Perhaps in the future with bigger voting power and being able to reward my followers It will change my mind. There was this one guy who copied my coment and I actualy caught him. I didn’t flag him, because I kind of felt sorry for him. I think these guys are trying to do the best at that time they can. Many of them may not speak English and they just use one phrase and hope they get Upvoted. I could understand it, because I myself didn’t speak English much few years ago. They just hope to make few cents a day, at least I would. I would not flag them like many do.
I don't flag people if I see they're making a genuine effort especially if I think that they don't speak English well.
No, please, don’t take it personally. I meant others. As a matter of fact I don’t think I have ever seen you flagging anyone. There are few methods I have seen that definitely deserve flagging, but there is a bigger problem I think than that. Just today there was this author who stopped rewarding people and instead he rewards his coments on people’s coments with $6.00 upvote. So can you imagine coment with zero reward and right below his coment as a replay is $6.00?
I are enjoy good post for you today and milked the cow. This is a decent bacon. Thank you for the breakfast again. I like excellent steemit life story about reading entertainment. Three cheers for marbles. Thanks you for again.
Everyone knows the best bacon comes from cows. I'm afraid I've lost my marbles but if I find them I will send at least two of them your way.
I look forward to my marbles arriving, kind sir, yes?
is so look forward to marbles. comment always awesome!
Hello welcome marbles to Steemit you like.
I experienced all types of SPAM you explained here.. but maybe there is another one which is not intented SPAM but because someone commented in a language he is not familiar with.. but tried (no. 3). Maybe i was sometimes a not intented spammer too because of this pitfall as a german. 😁
Well if I see someone is making a genuine effort to comment on my post and showing that they read it then a few misspellings don't really matter.
Thank you for sharing how to write a spam comment ;) haha Just kidding :D