Cultivating A New Post-Military Identity

“Losers quit when they’re tired, winners quit when they’ve won” - Anonymous.

This quote comes from a sign that I have hanging on my office wall. Being an almost 30 year old, Air Force Veteran, husband, father, and college student making a career change, it helps me stay inspired to keep grinding to adapt to civilian life and cultivate my new identity despite my feelings of insufficient personal development. It reminds me to work as hard as I can everyday, whether or not I feel like I am making progress.

As a former Air Force Staff Sergeant, I worked as a Crew Chief on the F-15 fighter jet for 6 years. For 3 years following my enlistment, every day I struggled with trying to establish my new identity and understand my new role in life while maintaining forward progress in my career transition. The constant battle between who I was in the military vs who I was becoming outside of the structure of the military not only took mental and emotional strength, but a level of patience I never knew existed. As a husband and father, between odd jobs and college courses, clinging to my faith was the only way I made it through some of those heavier and darker days.

For anyone with friends and family who are serving or have served, be sure to let them know that they have your support. I can’t really put the feeling into words, but every service member blessed with making it back home and becoming a civilian after their enlistment again goes through some kind of transition in defining themselves outside of their military identity. If I hadn't met my wife soon after separating from the Air Force I'm not sure where I'd be. I now realize that everyday is worth fighting to better myself because I am no longer doing it for or by myself. Her support has made all the difference in the world, and letting a loved one, who is struggling, know that they have you in their corner will too.