Ned’s Live Stream – The Good, the Bad and the Garage Band

Link to Video

I was really excited to see Ned’s last video, to try to make sense of what was happening on Steemit. At first, everything seemed somewhat normal, I mean, he was dressed like Top Gun, but I assumed that was, "just another day at Steemit Inc."

As he began asking the tech guy dozens of questions about the video, that probably should have been asked before the video started, I realized that they were still setting this up… for another video? “Am I watching a pre-show?” I began to wonder.

Then, out of nowhere, they kept changing camera angles so quick that I became dizzy, while wondering if Ned had hired a meth-head to work the control board. Even Ned became confused, interrupting the man’s meth-binge to ask: “Which camera are we using?”

Then, instead of talking about Steemit, Ned started to act as if he was on some variety-show and began taking requests. I was in shock: I had been hoping to hear that he was planning to stop all the corruption and vote buying services, but I couldn't understand why he was trying to prove that America has talent.

My head was spinning and before I knew it, he whipped out the guitar. As he strummed a few notes, I was surprised to see that he actually knew how to play, but when he mentioned that he’d been spending his time retooling regular songs into bitcoin songs, I went into denial.

“What!... No! Ned! You’re working on Steemit, trying to improve the platform. You’re just saying this to humanize yourself, you’re not really about to start a bitcoin garage band, are you?”

As I listened to him rock-out, dad-style, my thoughts turned toward cult leaders and how they all seem to know how to play the guitar.

I wondered whether there was some sort of correlation: “Is playing the guitar a prerequisite for starting a cult? Is this how Ned got Dan to build Steemit: by describing an altruistic vision of the platform and then serenading him in the moonlight, with Kumbaya songs? Is Steemit a cult?”

But then, as Ned began singing I knew that Steemit was not a cult, because no cult leader in his right mind would be caught dead with a singing voice like that.

As he continued on, I became more confused, just staring into the horror show that had been uploaded to Youtube and I began to notice Ned’s eyes. Halfway through the song, those beautiful browns began passionately making love to the camera, as if they knew that his singing career would be short lived and they were preparing for a future in porn or, maybe, to seduce any older men that had the capital to fund his next project.

But then, he stopped trying to keep up with the constant camera changes and his eyes trailed off into the distance: devoid of life.

At first, I thought they looked tired: like a man who had been slaving away each day to repair a dying platform and then, to supplement his income, spending each night performing bitcoin songs, in dive bars for angry truckers and the type of hardened prostitutes that usually kept a broken beer bottle in their purse: to help fend off the typical serial killer in a big rig.

But, as I watched Ned force a fun and lighthearted expression on his face, in order to trick me into paying for tickets to his next show at Big Daddy’s Road House & Check Cashing, his eyes told a completely different story: they were the eyes of a man who had seen things that no man should ever see: burdened with the knowledge of some catastrophe that was about to end all life and he was reliving the same day over and over hoping, that this time, he would sing well enough to save the planet, but deep down he knew he would fail, again.

“What does he know!” I began to wonder.

Then, with a sad look on his face, he began reminiscing about Steemit: like a father telling his children what their mother was like before the accident.

He claimed that this video was to show what was happening behind the scenes at Steemit Inc, which actually explained a lot. I felt as though I was watching someone on MDMA and they were offering too much information. As he reached the drug’s peak, he became very proud that 40 people had tuned in, to share this trip with him and then, like a sedated Hitler, he said:

“Again, this is the beginning of the track - we’re going to get to millions - and millions!”

Then he went back to taking requests; insisting that this video, or channel, should only have content that we want to see - but I didn’t want to see any of this!

I became relieved when he mentioned that he had run out of songs, but then I wondered what happens when he is forced to tell all the rednecks at the local honky-tonk, that he is out of material.

I began imagining scenes of beer bottles smashing all around him and some drunken hillbilly taking things too far, by picking up his pregnant girlfriend and launching her at Ned. I wondered how long it would be before Ned’s charming, boyish face would be covered in scars from broken glass and stiletto shoes.

But, as he began begging for people to subscribe to his Youtube channel, I noticed Ned’s book collection: strategically placed behind him, so we would know that he is a man of high intellect. As I tried to read the names of all four books, it dawned on me: these are probably the only books he has ever read and he probably takes them everywhere to prove that he is literate.

I hated seeing Ned like this, maybe I’m the only one, but I still like the guy, even though he seems a bit like a grifter and I wouldn’t trust him around my grandma, for obvious reasons. I can only imagine how embarrassed he must have felt once the drugs wore off and he remembered that he live streamed this.