DAY 2 YOUNG PEOPLE ASK: Why Won’t My Parents Let Me Have Fun?

For Allison, * a teenager in Australia, Monday morning at school is as stressful as predictable.

"Everyone's talking about what they did over the weekend," she says. "They tell stories that sound so exciting, like how many parties they went to and how many boys kissed them - even running away from the police ... It sounds so scary, but funny! Home in the morning, and her parents do not care, I have to be in bed before they start their night!

"Anyway, after they tell me their weekend action stories, my classmates ask me what I did, and what did I do? I went to Christian meetings, I got involved in the ministry. that I have really missed a good time, usually just telling them that I have not done anything, then asking why I did not come with them.
"When Monday is over, you think it would be easier, but it's not, everyone is talking about the upcoming weekend on Tuesday! I usually sit and listen to them, I feel so out of the woods!"
Is your Monday morning in school similar? You may feel that there is a world of pleasure on your doorstep, but that your parents have locked it tight - or as if you are in an amusement park, but you are not allowed to stand on any of the rides. It's not like you want to do everything your colleagues do. You just want to have fun! For example, which leisure activities would you prefer to do next weekend?

◯ dancing

◯ music concert

◯ movie

◯ party

◯ other ․․․․․

You need recreation. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) In fact, your Creator wants you to enjoy your youth. (Ecclesiastes 11:9) And although you may doubt it at times, your parents also want you to have fun. Likely, however, your parents will have two legitimate concerns: (1) what you will do and (2) who will accompany you.

What, though, if you’re invited to go out with friends but you aren’t sure how your parents will react? When you are faced with a decision, the Bible encourages you to consider the options you have, good and bad, and to weigh the consequences. (Deuteronomy 32:29; Proverbs 7:6-23) With regard to the invitation you’ve received from your friends, what options do you have?

OPTION A: DO NOT ASK - JUST GO.

Why you should consider this option: You feel that you know better than your parents, or you have little respect for your judgment. Proverbs 15: 5.

The Consequences: Your friends will learn something about you - that you can be deceitful. If you want to give up your parents, you may be ready to take care of your friends. When your parents find out, they feel hurt and betrayed and you will probably be grounded! To contradict your parents and go out anyway is a stupid option. - Proverbs 12:15.

Option B: Do not ask - do not go.

Why do you think about this option: you think about the offer and decide that the activity is not in line with your principles. (1 Corinthians 15:33; Philippians 4: 8) On the other hand, you may have the courage to ask your parents.

The Consequences: If you do not go because you know it's a bad idea, you'll be safer if you answer your friends. But if you do not go because you have the courage to ask your parents, then you may be sitting at home thinking that you are only one who has no fun.

OPTION C: ASK - AND LAKE.

Why you should consider this option: You recognize your parents' authority over you and your judgment. (Colossians 3:20) You love your parents and do not want to hurt them by sneaking behind their backs. (Proverbs 10: 1) You also have a chance to present your case.

The consequences: Your parents feel that they love and respect them. And if they think your request is appropriate, they could say yes.

Why parents could say no

But what if your parents say no? That can be frustrating. However, understanding their point of view can help you deal with the limitations. For example, they might say no for one or more of the following reasons.

More knowledge and experience. If you had the choice, you would prefer to swim on a beach staffed by lifeguards. Why? Since you have fun in the water, your danger awareness is very limited. But the lifeguards have a better starting point to detect dangers.

Similarly, due to their greater knowledge and experience. Like lifeguards on the beach, your parents' goal is not to spoil your fun, but you do not have to worry about it.
Love for you. Your parents have a strong desire to protect you. Love moves them to say yes, if they can, but no if they have to. If you ask for their permission to do something, they ask themselves if they can fulfill the request and then live with the consequences. They will only say to themselves and to you if they are reasonably sure that nothing will happen to you.

A lack of information. Loving parents will stay on the safe side. If they do not understand what you are asking, or if they feel that important facts are missing in your request, they will probably say no.

How to improve your chances of a yes

Four factors play a role.

Honesty: First of all, you have to ask yourself honestly, "Why do I really want to go? Is it primarily the activity that I enjoy, or do I want to get involved with my colleagues? Is it because there is someone to whom I am Then, be honest with your parents, once you were young and know you well, you will probably recognize your true motives, you will appreciate your openness, and you will benefit from their wisdom (Proverbs 7: 7). 1, 2) On the other hand, if you are not honest, you undermine your credibility and reduce the chances that you will hear a yes.

Timing: Do not summon your parents with inquiries when they have just come home from work or when they focus on other things. Approach them when they are more relaxed. But do not wait until the last minute and then try to put pressure on them. Your parents will not appreciate having to make a hasty decision. Ask early, and your parents will appreciate your attention.

Content: Do not be vague. Explain exactly what you want to do. Parents feel uncomfortable with the answer "I do not know," especially when they asked, "Who will be there?" "Will a responsible adult be present?" Or "When will the event end?"
Attitude: Do not consider your parents as enemies. Consider them as part of your team - because they are all things. If you consider your parents as allies, you will sound less combative and more cooperative. If they say no, ask respectfully why. For example, if you say no to a concert, try to find out the reason for their concerns. Are you worried about the actor? the venue? the company you will keep? the entrance fee? Avoid such statements as "You do not trust me", "All others go" or "The parents of my friends let them go!" Show your parents that you are mature enough to accept their decision and respect them. If you do that, they will respect you. And next time they're more inclined to look for opportunities, yes to say.