How 3 People From My Family Peed on a Friend of Mine in a Week-Comedy Open Mic Round #10

cryptkeeper17 (64)in #steemit • 6 years ago (edited)

Yes this is based on a true story. All identities are hidden to protect the innocent and the insanely "gooned up" participants.

It was this time of year, maybe five weeks from the day, today on the calendar. It was that time of year providing us with ample opportunity while being old enough to be dangerously stupid and out of control and the opportunities were plentiful. I was a junior in high school, and there were plenty of graduation drinking parties to be had by all. The weather was great my vehicle (that was a year older than I was at the time) was bringing us to the promised land, an "uber-hot chick's" graduation party that happened to have a lot more well wishers than usual because the contents of the keg in the basement of the house.

I brought a lot to drink, about a 12 pack, which at the time would wreck me bad enough. But at this time our police in this locale knew about the parties right about the time they were planned, so we got in the habit of drinking like fish getting rid of the evidence as fast as possible. So after handing out some of my beer haul to my friends, I was out of beer in record time, well before the cops showed up for a change. So then I began helping myself to the contents in the aforementioned keg of very very cheap beer, the kind us morons at this age really are drawn to, you know, the available kind. So after about apparently (I say apparently because everything gets pretty hazy after this point) a while of cozying up to the keg, I manage to spill my entire cup, all over some nice lady that was in front of me by the keg, apparently. Unluckily for me it was the mom of the debutante of the ball, and I inadvertently ended the party, which was fortuitous, because the cops were waiting outside about to bust us all as we left.

So the group I am with start running, we evade the fuzz, apparently, and wind up at my lovely vehicle, that a true friend was wise enough to wrestle the keys from me a long time before this. Well, apparently six of us cram into the front seat and we are hauling tail out of "Dodge" if you know what I mean. We apparently are driving home, and apparently I mentioned several times I needed to go to the restroom. Apparently the trip was too far (10 blocks) so then I apparently let the stream go. The people in the front are just about hanging out the door, apparently trying to avoid my overly comfortable bladder. Everyone escapes the stream, except my buddy, I will call him Mr. X. Mr X was then quickly dropped off at home after we watched his neighbor, a young lady (that also attended the party, and our school) play pinball with her car trying to fit her little car in a two stall garage. Then my pal, Mr. X is in front of his house, where we all planned on spending the night with him as we had planned. Apparently Mr. X starts puking his guts out, and I am telling him (a little too loud apparently)"It's okay Mr X, puke it up Mr X." Then finally after Mr X was done, we all flipped on the light where Mr X's dad was waiting for us. He asked what are doing? Mr X says "They are spending the night." Mr X's dad says, "No they aren't," all of which my memory was clear as day at this point. Mr X's buddies, myself included let it be known that Mr X's dad's authority need not be challenged, and I remember thinking, "Okay that's good enough for me!" So from there I go running home, about six blocks, past a haunted house (different story altogether) in a soiled pair of pants needing an explanation that is pretty damn good if I am confronted like Mr X was by his parents. Thank God I was able to sneak back in my house at this time of night, and carefully dispense of the evidence in the laundry room, no one was the wiser and I was home free. Except Mr X we all got away free as a bird.