Unfuck yourself in 10 EASY STEPS!!!

in steemit •  6 months ago  (edited)

What horrid and cool times we live in right? Have you enjoyed the past few years of falling down the "rabbit hole" or "red pilling" or being WOKE AS FUCK? I know I sure as hell have! One major takeaway is that the best and worst of times can coexist and that can be really funky....amirite? This is the debut of my brand new Initiative/Cult that puts the FUN back into DYSFUNCTION.


My Keurig is being very noisy at the moment brewing my magical bean juice but I wanted to share an ultra exclusive method for Unfucking Yourself in just 10 easy steps.

  1. Realize things are transient by nature and when you get that too much attachment is not a great thing you can cut loose the bullshit

  2. Go get some money and/or power and see who your real friends and allies are. This part is freaking fabulous if you just love surprises and being further disappointed in some you think give a damn. Most Don't

  3. Validation! Social Media blows chunks but if you use it for validation then you are on a bad path indeed. A dog or cat will give you better validation then the Psychological butt plugging of online life :)

  4. Loyalty..... When someone shows you their true colors believe them. Loyalty is a good commodity to have as a human!

  5. Do what you need to do to get you through the day.....no judgement unless it's hurting innocent people and stuff so go ahead and smoke whatever the hell you like and eat that damned cheeseburger

  6. NO REGRETS, no time machines that I know of exist so is pointless to have them

  7. Perfection is lame and boring and being full of flaws gives people swagger. I'm talking flaws that don't include writing awful manifestos or shooting squirrels out of boredom.

  8. LAMBO BITCHES....... Facebook is great at making you feel like shit as are most platforms including this one at times so realize that most people struggle and worry about a lot of the same things and the blessed few who think money is everything can go on worrying if their trophy wife or husband will take all their loot!

  9. Unfucking yourself also can unfuck others

  10. See number 9 ^

If this post makes $3.50 or more I'll make a Discord Channel to become a Life Coach Guru on. Have a Nice Day!


Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Let's get gooey.

  ·  6 months ago (edited)

In the immortal words of Gunnery Sgt Hartman.

This is my NEW INITIATIVE , if I get good feedback and crack $3.50 I am making my life coaching discord server for unfucking

Finally some steem guru competition.. I got the game hemmed up son but there is always more smoke to blow up asses..

Posted using Partiko Android

I will require Disciples to help the world through Unfucking (TM)

Let's collaborate and do a typical guru pyramid scheme. I'll activate the chakras starting with the butt portal and then when they bitch about how they wasted 10 steem I'll send them your way for the 20 steem phase 2 activation of the nads.

Posted using Partiko Android

when you realize that when you give you also receive is when you start on the journey of enlightenment

Well, there are a few who heartily believe in some "Guru's unfucking" methods more in synchrony with our newage times. };)


You must drink a gallon of kale a day too.. I sell kale on the darknet BTW it's super potent

Posted using Partiko Android

Steem and the Earth are a lot alike, both are flat and filled with magical creatures like Unicorns.....or Neds Hair and Kale gets you very high I hear

Pretty decent butt plugging there.. Resteemed so that others can ASSimilate into the unfucked side of life..

Posted using Partiko Android

ha ha, thank you kindly and I like to remember the uniting force is that we all have buttholes

That we do, but mine is exit only!

Posted using Partiko Android

That we do, but mine is exit only!

Posted using Partiko Android

number two ^ The power of this Movement is strong already

Very well unfucked written! I enjoy your 10 step program!

smoke whatever the hell

Maybe we all should agree that smoking crack wouldn't be a good solution? :D

If this post makes $3.50 or more I'll make a Discord Channel to become a Life Coach Guru on. Have a Nice Day!

You can charge your clients 987253987532879352987 Dollar for your amazing life coaching techniques. Sweet deal.

I'm gonna confirm that crack kills!

Posted using Partiko Android

That's good that we are all confirming the confirmation that crack kills.

Crack indeed kills so we are already in CONSENSUS about that
crack is whack but this Cult won't be.....perhaps together we can do awesome stuff, tree fiddy

So many need to unfuck themselves.

preach it

Unfucking as we speak

A cult Discord channel is gonna happen if this hits "tree fiddy"

Da Lochness Monstah can be your mascot.

In UFY (Pronounced YOU-FEE, everyone is a mascot)
remember you are a mascot and loved

What a riot! Can't wait to get my new religious cult robe, sunglasses, and complimentary tee emblazoned with the words "Vnfvck Thyself" in the mail.
Or better, "Libera te non esse asinum" - Do not be an ass Free Yourself.

woo hoo am up to 66 cents, in order to make you an Empress level 11 UFY I just gotta get to that tree fiddy

I like to THINK BIG on a shoestring budget too.

oh yeah