I can relate to this in several ways. I've only had 1 true panic attack, and I never want to have another one! I've had clinical depression for most of my adult life. It started in a subtle way, but ended up destroying my first marriage. I finally started getting help for it about 10 years ago, and I think I'm one of the lucky ones, because the first pill that was prescribed worked well enough that I've been able to cope with the ups and downs for the most part.