LIFE IS NOT BLACK AND WHITE - Give a definition to what you have. Own it!

Everybody has flaws but often times individuals find level grounds. A man manages the flaws of the man and a woman manages the flaws of the man. It's difficult for a man to have unconditional love that's why the Bible instructs men to love their wives and women should respect their husbands. These gaps are to be filled and not widened.

Maintain a balance of what you want and what your partner wants.

Know when to take your stand when to bow out. There are times when you argue and argue and times

Find out some things before marriage. If you can't tolerate it get out of that 'ship' If the person also truly loves you he/she makes a deliberate effort to change and you also see that he/she is making an effort to change. If the person doesn't see a reason to change get out. Instead of criticizing help the person change. Give the person suggestions on ways to change. If the person gets angry when you are pointing out the wrongs then he or she is not willing to change

Every human on earth was born with an ego. There is always a way to bring the ego down. Some guys prefer a lady that argues with them - defend her points and stand firm. Some guys prefer - ladies stroking their ego. You could gently tell them what they are saying is true but gently sliding in your own opinion. He won't see it as a confrontation but rather as a discussion. Like a friendly suggestion - let them change their opinions by themselves. Don't force it.

However, some guys want both but it's difficult to do both. Know when to stroke their ego and when to stand firm. Some guys want you to help them stand firm

How to bring the love back

Love is not a feeling, it's not an emotion. It's not enjoying the company of someone, it's not being attracted to someone.

Love is a decision.

You decide to unconditionally stick with the person. If you work on feelings it won't last.

What if you are not connecting?

First of all, there has to be a connection. Not the kind of cute face, 6 packs and all that. The connection is about you two having things in common. It's beyond just looking at each other.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION

Can you date yourself?

Of course not, knowing all your flaws. You should marry a person that compliments your flaws.

Once the connection is there - decision comes in. And sometimes you make the decision unconsciously. You just find yourself overlooking the flaws. You already made the decision without knowing. However, sometimes you make the decision consciously. Sometimes the decision is reciprocated and at that point you should be patient to know the other party's decision while still being aware enough to know if the person actually wants to make that decision.

Can the connection be lost?

Yes, if the connection was superficial - deep enough it can die out. The connection is like a plant you need to nurture so the root would deepen. You can do stuff together

Little or No Communication is the killer of connection

Communicate! Always say what you feel - don't keep it to yourself say it. Whenever something is bothering you, say it out. No matter how gruesome it is, say it. If the person cannot handle it then the connection was not there in the first place.

What's pushing him out???

Find out what's driving him out... Spice it up. Everybody loves adventure... Don't be too routinely. Buy him gifts... Have date nights...
Keep it exciting! Cook randomly... If you are married your sex life should be as vibrant as your prayer life.

THE MYTH of the FRIENDZONE

Contrary to popular beliefs - love is not the basis for a relationship. Friendship should be the basis for every relationship. Because friendship is what builds the connection and the love. When you don't feel love with the person what will keep you guys together is that friendship.

In real friendship - nothing is hidden. As a friend you know 75% about that person.

If you don't marry your friend it would be difficult to stay in that marriage. Friends suck up something from friends.

I cannot marry someone that is friend. Often times people start up from the love and not friendship.

You can date without friendship but in marriage friendship sustains it.

Distance can kill love but cannot kill friendship.

If you want it to last... First be friends before lovers.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

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