I'm Still Waiting For My Bones And Joints To Strengthen-Up Before I Exercise Them

My bones had deteriorated over the years without me having to realize what was happening. I actually had no clue how I should manage my health back then because what is important for me is to have my dialysis at least twice per week.

Well I have no money to support my heath needs anyway so I end up without the best standard health care that I needed. I am just glad that in these later times of my life that I am able to afford the medicine that I needed but it seems that it is too little too late as bone changes already had occurred and I can never get back my former appearance which is sad and frustrating because of course our image is what most people perceive us to be.

People are very visual and prejudiced, if they see a physically weak person they would treat you as sub-human, lower than themselves and often mistreated, disrespected, belittled. If you tell a joke they won't laugh too, lol.

That is what I am experiencing which is why I tend to just shy away from people and would enclose myself in this shell call my room in my house. Unfortunately I have to go out twice every week because I have to get dialyzed. But going out to do some shopping (good luck on that), meeting people, or just hanging around the neighborhood is not on my bucket list to do anymore for the fear of people rubbernecking on me like I am a side show in a circus.

So my appearance is just one of the catastrophes that happened to my life because of an inadequate health care because of my then poverty.

Anyway I am happy that at least I made a good improvement and that I did not slip out completely from dying from this "hungry bone syndrome" that I am suffering from judging by the fact that my bone pains had diminished dramatically.

I am now in the process of making my bone recuperate a bit before exercising and hopefully doing a little weight lifting to maybe make myself do small task in the future like doing a a former hobby, small chores around the house and walk without being in misery. With God's blessing upon my plans and if he wills it then it will be done, I still need a lot of prayers.