Between holding and releasing - educating children to self-employment

We all want our children in life to be well cared for. This is the same as later. Education for self-employment is an important aspect, but parents must find the right measure. Too much self-sufficiency overshadows children, too little of which makes it difficult for them to get along well in life.

© S. Rae - Fotolia.com

Self-reliance must learn a child in small and age-appropriate steps, and the parents must be alert and aware. For if a child requires a high degree of independent action, he must at the same time take responsibility - and that too must be learned.

Why letting go for parents is so difficult

Especially mothers often have a huge problem, but it is not easy for the fathers either: the child has to go his own way. This starts already in the kindergarten, with some children even earlier in the nursery or with the day mother. At the latest in the kindergarten, the little ones are also required to act independently. For anxious parents the replacement from the parents' house is equivalent to the child. They are afraid that something will happen to him, but they also fear the loss of control. The child is exposed to other influences and could develop in a different direction independently of the parents. At least in the kindergarten age, this danger is extremely low, but resonates with many parents as subconscious care.

The first steps for independent action

Self-acting and self-responsible action simultaneously creates self-awareness. This is what we know about ourselves. For the child, this is the same, but if it can also meet the demands placed upon it. This makes possible an early education based on self-reliance by the parents, but also in the kindergarten. Then the child learns by itself, usually effortlessly and playfully, to take care of his affairs, so to act independently.

What is crucial here is: what competences can be transferred to the child? Too high a degree of self-reliance, the child, on the one hand, because it can not make some decisions at all. In addition, there is a lack of the limits imposed on parents by regulations and decisive action. For a child can only act independently to the extent that it can draw from its own horizon of experience. Self-acting means to be able to assess and react appropriately.

Thus children become independent

For a child to become a self-sufficient and thinking person, some basic basic requirements must be fulfilled. The basis is a close emotional bond with the parents, which gives backing and confidence: Even if I fail, I am intercepted. This secure feeling leaves children free to make decisions and, if necessary, to develop the courage to fail. For children learn about trial and error. Order and safety in the family life continue to help a child to act without having been able to bring his parent back home. This is precisely what self-employment means: making your own decisions, trusting that you are self-competent and the social environment in an emergency at the side.

• In addition to temperament and personality, these conditions are decisive factors in determining how much a child can trust. As parents, one can gradually increase the independence, ie, the child's play, and transfer responsibility to him.

In order to control yourself, you should always forbid your child, because they think it is endangered or overwhelmed. Can I help solve the problem independently? This helps your child enormously and supports the development of a healthy self-awareness. At the same time, you relieve yourself, because a child who is early self-employed needs less help from you in many areas.

How much independence at what age?

As is often the case in child-rearing, here too, there are no patent recipes. The degree of autonomy that can be given to a child depends on many different factors, such as the child's developmental stage, the family context, the social environment, and the security requirements. The fact is that children need space in which they can develop in such a way that, on the one hand, they can experiment without risk and act independently, but on the other hand they are also called upon to take responsibility.

With all education to self-employment, the parents' trust in their child, as well as the necessary security, is behind them. Who can be guided by his healthy understanding of man