I guess it is not truly "my" vote after all.

Yep. The steem you "give" to others with "your" upvote drains the private-reward-pool-pie.

If you stop upvoting, "your share" (based on your steem-power) of that pie goes straight into the mouths of the TOP-EARNERS (where it belongs).

Oh, right, some of them will even downvote you for having a full downvote meter (you're not doing your part for the "community" you free-rider), so you better gets to downvoting!!