The Family and Forgiveness
I forgave him, my life improved a little; but he did not change, he was very rude to me and with any lawsuit he left us. Now he's not with me for like a year, and he has another woman.
I am devastated, she has done so many things to me and I am tired of forgiveness. I want to change my life, I want to be happy and I can not, I just cry and cry. I have my God who has given me so many things. . . health, a beautiful daughter, I have my own house, I have work.
What else can I ask? I thank God for that, but I can not get out of this. I'm tired of taking antidepressants, I want to live because I feel desolate.
I want to leave this gap and forget my husband, to be able to continue with my daughter, but I only think about my husband and I sink more.
-Maria
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WITHOUT FORGIVENESS, WE DYED inside. With it, even if the memories remain in our mind, at least, we can begin to look forward.
Despite the great love we have for our family, many times, forgiveness is difficult. Maybe they have treated us badly or have despised our love and care.
The truth is that we must forgive even when the other person does not repent or change his attitude. Usually we look for excuses such as: "If only he left that lifestyle (or drugs or liquor)", or, "If he left that man (or woman) who seems to be sucking life."
However, we must do it even though there is no evidence of any change. This does not mean that we maintain a passive attitude towards abuse, humiliation or aggression. Rather, if we forgive, we raise our dignity and this allows us to have the necessary firmness to stop the abuse.
The opposite of forgiveness is rejection. This almost always brings with it isolation, bitterness and a strong distancing. A young man wrote to his parents in order to inform them that he was going to marry his fiancee, with or without his consent.
It may be that this young man was quite stubborn and insensitive, but even so, the letter he received from his father left him breathless. It said: «Do not worry about inviting us to the wedding: we no longer have a son». This should never be expressed, because we could regret it for a long time (if not, forever).
Forgiveness must be given in spite of deep wounds, frustrated dreams or broken promises. Without forgiveness, there is no hope for reconciliation with the family. It may be difficult to forgive someone who hurts too much, but doing so is something that frees the way for reconciliation.
There are two definitions of forgiveness that must be kept in mind to understand what it consists of. Tony Campbell expressed: «Forgiveness is not a benefit that I confer on another person, it is a freedom that I give to myself», and Dr. Archibald Hart said: «To forgive is to renounce the right to hurt you because you have hurt me».
Only when in reality we renounce our right to take revenge, to point and judge, have we sincerely forgiven. We must all strive to achieve this freedom and, in doing so, we increase our capacity to love.
There are people to whom forgiveness is difficult to a large extent. The problem is that they resist leaving the offense in the past. Often these individuals can not recognize the damage and wear they suffer by retaining their "pride."
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The lack of forgiveness causes that the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the pain and the frustration are present of constant form; That is why the person who is attached to these negative feelings is not free in itself and, to the extent that he remains in that position, his health and emotional life deteriorate.
Forgiveness is not easy to understand. Usually we are waiting to "feel the desire" to grant it. However, beyond feeling, there is the decision to renounce the right that we believe we have to take revenge for what they have done to us.
It is to choose to be free of the feelings that were trapped in a distant past.
However, despite all the benefits we recognize in forgiveness, in addition to not being easy to understand, it is not easy to grant. Will, decision and perseverance are required to sustain it in time.
Forgiveness is a process, and the strongest sign that this process has borne fruit will become evident when one day we are surprised by the memories of what happened and we no longer experience pain.
Undoubtedly, before an offense, forgiveness is the only way to love and restore the negative; because otherwise, there is no reunion and, much less, harmony. Forgiveness is the only way to be free from bitterness and rejection.
Forgiveness is fundamental in families. Between parents and children. Children make serious mistakes, as is the case with the prodigal son. He left home, and wasted his money, as expected, failure; When he saw himself in need, he was forced to acknowledge his fault and to seek forgiveness from his father. On the other hand when seeing that father that his son returned, he granted the absolute and sincere pardon "And when he got up, he came to his father, and when he was still far away, his father saw him, and he was moved to mercy, and he ran and threw himself on his neck, and I kiss him. " Luke 15:20. I do not blame him. The prodigal son's older brother did not want to forgive him, he did not forget what his brother did, nor did he look at his repentance and sincerity.
You have to forgive but you don't have to reconcile. In Old Testament times the adulterer would have been stoned to death so no reconciliation would be necessary or possible. The Bible is clear that you can divorce when the other spouse is unfaithful.
(Matthew 19:9 NIV) I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Pardoning is major in families. Amongst guardians and kids. Youngsters commit genuine errors, just like the case with the intemperate child. He exited home, and squandered his cash, of course, disappointment; When he saw himself in require, he was compelled to recognize his blame and to look for absolution from his dad. Then again when seeing that father that his child returned, he conceded the total and earnest exonerate "And when he got up, he went to his dad, and when he was still far away, his dad saw him, and he was moved to benevolence, and he ran and tossed himself on his neck, and I kiss him. " Luke 15:20. I don't point the finger at him. The reckless child's more established sibling did not have any desire to pardon him, he kept in mind what his sibling did, nor did he take a gander at his contrition and truthfulness.
The family is the fundamental nucleus of society and God blesses families, he forgives, and because we do not forgive ourselves, we are human, love can do everything