SOLUTIONS TO COMMON MARRIAGE PROBLEMS (PART 2)

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UNRESOLVED BAGGAGE FROM YOUR YOUTH OR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP
It is a known fact that many people are prisoners of their past. The evils that occurred in their past is still locked up somewhere in their minds and affecting their thoughts, attitudes and behaviour. Trusting, loving and working as a team sometimes becomes a problem and this usually brings a strain on the relationship.

• SOLUTION
  Get help from the Word of God and your pastor. You need to let go of the past and prayerfully seek God's help to heal the hurts and baggage of youth and a previous relationship. Give your partner a chance to prove what he or she is made of. Always remember that people are different in many ways. Free your mind from negative thoughts and become a believer. Allow Jesus and the Word of God that you hear and read to change you. Let go and let God take control of you.

UNFULFILLED EXPECTATIONS
One of the greatest challenges in relationships is enter I ng into them with all kinds of expectations and then over the years, feeling disappointed again and again that they have not been met. When you expect too much, you will definitely be disappointed, you will definitely clash with your spouse. Such expectations out pressure on the marriage and on your spouse. Many times, marriages collapse under the weight of such expectations as it drives the expectant to push for their actualization not minding the negative effect it is having on the spouse.

These expectations take their root from the marriage and relationship of our parents. That's the one we lived and breathed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That kind of exposure gets absorbed, some on a conscious level, some on an unconscious level. The biggest problem with expectation in general is that we may know what our expectations are, but it's unlikely that our partner does! Even more insidious and frustrating is when we have these expectations and even we can't name them, yet we expect our partner to fulfill them.

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• SOLUTION
  Marriage is a with walk, it is good to expect love and trust and much more from your spouse, but do not be too expectant. Give room for failure. If you do, you will not be shattered when there is failure. Make room for your spouse weakness. He or she is not an angel, and is bound to make mistakes nor fail you. Be realistic and forgive all the time. Be sure you actually know what your expectations are and communicate same to your partner, especially at the beginning of the relationship.