Finishing the story @f3nix contest submission-Untitled
All consciousness, time and the rules that governed the professor's life had now been castaway as meaningless facts, figures, theories to a time that is now discarded upon him. His feelings of nothingness and despair flashed in among highs and lows, not as sensations or feelings in the living body, but like fact mixed with questioned chaos in this new ether that knew no boundaries as he had daily became accustomed, even being the great broadened mind of his day.
While moving in this in this ether, distant frequency of being, in the same physical spot he had once occupied in his living years he began to witness orbs of spiritual being, moving in fairly symmetrical formation in this area he was occupying. A feeling of terror came upon him as he had temporarily lost all equilibrium in self recognition not aware of being the alien or the "invited" entity as far as he was concerned. Panic turned to relaxation, again as sensation pierced his being, though there was no body to see of him only an area that lacked focus but brought a tiny bit of recognition from his past. Then suddenly the orbs began to run into each other, some stopped some went slowly out of focus out of what appeared to the professor a very long distance. Then eventually they all ran away in what looked like a cluster. Then the thought came to him, in a piercing taste of reality that hit him live a Medieval Bodkin arrow between the eyes. He was the uninvited entity. The orbs were people that quickly came in muddled recognition, to be inconsolable terror while in his immediate presence. The professor then chose to move along looking for his next stop to the great wide open he is currently operating in, looking for fellow goodwill among strangers, friends, family any entity rather than terrorizing the unknown human passersby.
This was amazing. I fell into the story and love the part:
Then the thought came to him, in a piercing taste of reality that hit him live a Medieval Bodkin arrow between the eyes. He was the uninvited entity. The orbs were people that he recognized
Good luck with the contest!
You are very kind @wandrnrose7, I have to keep my stories short and sweet I do not have the professional ability to carefully bring a story into focus of those authors on here like yourself. I think if you did a series of ten five minute freewrites in a row you could very easily frame them into excerpts from the same story. I am such a bull in a china shop in writing I would have ten short stories like always, lol. thanks for comment, btw I am always up for criticism where you may see room for improvement.
I see a lot of potential and evocative images. However, like those out of focus orbs in your story, I feel a bit lost within the sentences. Can you explain me a little? Is the professor capable of perceiving different layers of reality?
Yes, the professor was realizing he was dead actually, lol. Didn't convey that very well huh?
Perhaps, you could have exploited the open door and entering figure.. I don't want to influence the contest with my second part .. Hence I will properly comment after monday. You had probably the best idea so far.
Thank you very much, I am not making any edits, I want to keep it above board of course, but thanks very much, I really get tunnel vision in what I'm trying to say and lose perspective of what it is I am actually saying. Very helpful thanks again!
My pleasure, my friend.