REWIND...PAUSE..PLAY

A couple of days ago
I was ready ....to quit steemit..

I allowed my sensitive self to get involved..emotionally for others getting harassed/abused and in doing so
I took to my blog here..to express my feelings about it..
after I was through with the expression.. I was ready to quit.

I returned to my natural unplugged life

I did a rewind on what I witnessed and my behavior towards it
and paused..

I thought deeply about what I did.. in response to my emotions... and what I witnessed
and I have thought deeply about how I can change
from allowing my emotions to overtake me..in cyberland

I did what I thought was the "right thing" in that emotional state

I have in my current state realized...what this platform really is...(I'm still a newbie) so I realize this can still change..

and I have gotten a better understanding of the humans playing here...

I realized that I am not done..playing here..
because I inJOY MY sharing
and my focus needs to be returned to that
and it needs to be more focused on people and things that feed my mind
and touch my soul in a positive way

I want to focus on people that are teaching me
as I do in my reality....
and in my reality..
my circle is very small
as I am a empath, a healer
I feel..
and I respond to that feel
and I assist in a positive ways...

I have realized now the people I was sticking up for... did not pause
they continued..they went on with their lives without skipping a beat
and in fact..

I was the only one that allowed my energy to be taken
to a place that was affecting me in a negative way..

because of the work I do..in this life
I am a healer
I assist..

the physical world is very different

I got lost in cyberland..I got lost in the abuse I witness here

and in joining steemit.. I was blind..I was innocent

and I brought my emotions into a place
that are not really valued here.., my emotions are and were mine..and I responded with them..
the people being abused did not ask for my
assistance...

I gave what I thought I could... because what I was witnessing.. I viewed as wrong.....
In that witnessing I realized..that
abuse here..could happen to anyone...and I viewed it to be wrong and harmful to this platform because it could happen to anyone one of us playing here...

Because we are here free... to hide behind computer screens and key boards there is a whole
different thing at play

Bring money ..into the mix and it creates the full reality
of what money does in the outside world
into cyberland

I see steemit now as a gambling paradise..
and I have always inJOY'd gambling..
and I have remembered that in the gambling world
those gambling aren't out to help others
but to make money for themselves
and I now accepted that....

I have remembered that in the outside world
I have a choice on who/and what I put my energy into
and who/and what I do not
and the same must be done here..

This has always worked for me in the outside
world
and I believe (for now) it may work here...
if I tighten who's material I am placing my eyes upon..
and focus
on my sharing..

For my life is my sharing..
and how people respond to me is my business..there is no one around to save me on the outside
and there is no one here that will save me either..

And now I press play..
knowing full well what I have gotten myself into..
and it is my choice how to respond
or when it is time to walk away

I realize I need to focus on putting my energy
into people, places, things ,that feed me...
and respond to that energy in kind..

My apologies to those that have chosen to be my friend here
and had to witness my rant
I brought you into my emotional turmoil...that wasn't mine to take on..( I see that now)

I didn't see that then..
like I said I got lost in emotions..and caring..
perhaps you were smart enough and seasoned enough here to ...send me a prayer
in hope that.. I would find my way through..

I believe I have
and I step forward in a new knowing
and a new focus..

If you continue to support and upvote my sharing I give thanks..

My intention is focus..
and my intention is to share my life..
in a way of teaching..in a way of genuine sharing..in a way of positivity..

Thank you for your time and your energy that you share with me

Blessed Love ~*~
UMA