The Road To Whaleness...

When I was a newborn steemian, the delivery room went silent... Oh, not because I am some messiah of crypto-social, or born with a smartphone in my hand... No, the room was silent due to having no friends! By the time I figured out what the whimpering difference is between steems and whales and coins and upvotes, net neutrality appears to be disappearing... That would make it hard to resteem my post, people!

I called this article, The Road To Whaleness, because I am looking for it... But looking in that Taoist way, not like a dog chasing its tail... I have spent so many years chasing this or that, at least my pun points to the words WELLNESS... I tend to make fun of something and learn from it at the same time... Maybe that is evolved thinking, or maybe my brain is broken, I couldn't say...

I still don't get the economic part of STEEMIT... I look at the MARKET page, and its like watching a hive of honeybees crawl around frenetically... I mean, it is fascinating, and I guess you get honey too, but so damn confusing! Numbers changing randomly, it seems... Flickering like christmas lights, I am grateful I'm not epileptic...

So how does one attract the attention of a human algorhythm that has the ability to make you famous, if your stuff is quality? (If it's not, I dunno if I can help you!) How does one catch a whale? Actually, I don't really enjoy that analogy, because we human beings kill whales... And at this point STEEMIT often makes me feel more like a lamprey, than a minnow... Do we have lampreys here, or are those the bots?

Thanks to all the folks who aren't spoiling the new Star Wars movie... I could have gone to a midnight show, but I do love to pass out at night... Also, with my flippant flapper, I would have to use self-control to not spoil it for YOU!

I appear to be having a blast making GIFs from my old projects... People seem to love them, while facebroke just stopped letting you leave them in a comment... Way to go, Zuckers! Anyway, my drawing has slowed down, but after going strong every day for 10 months, taking a pause feels good...

Oh, this is hilarious and ironic! I started mining Electoneum on my laptop, so I could experiment in the realm of crypto coin... It doesn't seem to get in the way of watching YouTube or PirateBaying, so I tolerate being fingered by the technology... For four days now, it has been running constantly in the background... I checked my bit-wallet, and saw that TWO COINS have been deposited there!!!! OMG, someday I am gonna be a bubble, mom!

Each coin is worth about $0.07, LOL!!

Luckily, I adore irony, more than food or oxygen... To have a chance to be one of the masses who are currently fantasizing about getting rich by blogging, that is a novelty... I mean, I don't waste much time in my life, wishing I were somewhere else or someone else... So it is novel to wonder of possibilities...

Alright, here is my 'Road to whaleness...'

1. Keep it real! People are getting skilled at sniffing out bullshit... Just don't! Genuine interaction not only wins you friends, it also builds your SP... Furthermore, Science has recently discovered that connection is the cure for addiction, I am not kidding! So being authentic on STEEMIT may cause you to drink less, and if not it's better than a 12-Step program...

2. Be original... I can't reiterate this enough... As an artist, I walk a fine line with stealing a logo and warping it for lulz... But I do original things with familiar images, because I want the cognitive dissonance created by a mash-up... As a STEEMIT user, however, I want to just use pictures I have taken or produced myself... At least take moments to explain, it will help your long-term standing...

3. Don't be a groupie... Nobody likes a starfucker! Leeches by any other name, you wouldn't do it in person so don't do it online... Flattery can be just another form of trolling, which is probably why there aren't more celebrities and public figures here... And if by some miracle, a whale discovers you without it being shoved down their throat, they will enjoy having met and even remember you later...

4. Generous is as generous does... I'm in a faceboob group for STEEMIT, and the whole notion of UPVOTE 4 UPVOTE is challenging... It wouldn't be, if folks followed the first three guidelines above... But how many of us have found a new account, followed the user, and upvoted like 5 of their posts, only to have the other person do nothing in return? Yeah, that sucks... But I am suggesting to keep on doing that, as opposed to getting stingy like The Grinch... I have literally seen people saying, "I will sell you my upvote."

WTF is THAT crap???? Sell your upvote? How about if I monetize your mouth so I can tell you to shut the hell up? With that attitude, you will never become more than a dead, sunken ship that the whales pee on... (Do whales pee?)

The secret is that if you follow these steps, the rest of your life will also improve... Your steem reputation will skyrocket, but only because you figured out how to govern your own consciousness... You will smile more, as well, and your toast will fall butter-side-up, to greater and greater degrees...

I was serious about connection being the new opposite of addiction... Because; SCIENCE!!! No, they did new addiction studies with rats, but this time gave them communal environments... When the rats had other rats to do rat things with, they never touched the hard shit... Well, I want a steemit community so we can get over our cultural addictions...

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