Mentally Strong Habits 4: Thought For The Day #59💭✍
They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
‘Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner’ (Lao Tzu)
‘She began saying no and she found that the more she did it, the easier it became. Although she had imagined peopled would become angry with her, she quickly noticed that they didn’t really seem to mind’.
People Pleasing Signs
People pleasing is really about trying to control how others feel, do you resonate with any of the following statements:
- You feel responsible for how other people feel.
- The thought of anyone being mad at you causes you to feel uncomfortable.
- You tend to be a ‘pushover’.
- You find it easier to agree with people rather than express a contrary opinion.
- You apologise when you don’t think you did anything wrong.
- You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
- You don’t usually tell people when you’re feeling offended or hurt.
- You say yes to favours when you don’t want to do them.
- You change your behaviours based on what other people want
- You put a lot of energy in trying to impress people
- You host a party and feel responsible if people aren’t enjoying themselves.
- You often seek praise and approval from others
- You take responsibility to make others around you feel better
- You would never want someone to think of you as selfish
- You feel overscheduled by all you have to do.
You can still be a kind and generous person without having to please everyone.
Why We Try To Please People
One’s self worth is fuelled by the way other people perceive them. People go at such great lengths to make others happy as this is better than the alternative of being in conflict, potentially affecting relationships and the negative emotions associated with that.
Fear
Fear of conflict and confrontation, ‘if I can make everyone happy, everyone will be okay’. Fear or rejection as well, ‘if I don’t make you happy, you won’t like me’. They thrive on praise and reassurance from others, and if they’re not receiving enough positive reinforcement, they change their behaviour to try and make people feel happy.
Learned behaviour
From childhood, being raised in an unhealthy environment such as alcoholics or bickering parents, doing good deeds was the only way to get attention. Putting others first is a way of feeling needed and important, ‘I’m worth something if I cant make other people feel happy’.
Fear is the main reason for reduce the mental confidence .So we should try to overcome this one and build up mental strength.I have resteem it.
Yes keep mental strong is a great to motivate in work and life also so we should try to keep learning your process great work dear .Resteem has been done.
you are a best in steemit.you help to people to biuld up their motivation skill .thank you .resteem
I always believe whenever we try to please someone , in that process we end up hurting ourselves or hurting our feelings also whicj is not good.
I discover long ago not to try to please everyone as you can not please somebody completely. I just want to do my things my way
Truth hearts, that's why we have so much of pretension to cover-up and please everybody.
Humility now a days is absurd or obsolete to many so to speak.
We don't realize that humility is the foundation of virtues.
@luppers, There are many people who unknowingly becomes People Pleasers. Everyone have their own voice (Inner Voice) which is also called as Intuition and we have to follow it because our Intuition knows our greater good and if we ignore our Intuition then somewhere inside us we all the time feel the essence of Unpleasantness. Stay blessed.
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It is not realistic to think that we are going to fall sympathetic to everyone. On the other hand, trying to be approved by others would require such a great effort that we would have to abandon our own needs.
Redeem your post
I actually don't blame people pleasers, i blame their parents cause things like this would have been from childhood. When parents tell their children "i want you to study this particular course", "i want you to do this, do that" without even asking what the child wants to do, the child obeys because he/she wants to please his/her parents which is very wrong. Pleasing people is a state of mind, it can be changed with constant motivation just like you are doing @luppers. Keep up the good work.