Introducing (finally) my newest family member

I haven't posted on here for awhile, honestly I should have been, this would have been a good outlet for some of my frustrations over the last year and a half. A little over a year and a half ago, I posted a picture of an ultrasound that was much anticipated, we were overjoyed, myself and @eric-st-germain. A few quick months later, my life changed forever. Eric was killed, it was horrible, the police shot him, in our home. Granted it began with a domestic dispute, his alcohol and drug use got the best of him. No one is perfect but I sure never wanted things to go that direction, especially at 6 months pregnant.

I don't mean for this to be a sad or morbid post, actually just the opposite. I want to introduce our now 15 month old son, Jaxson Eric Nikola St. Germain, to the Steemit world. I've been meaning to for awhile, but after having to leave our home, being homeless for awhile and getting resettled and finding a full-time job, things just got away from me for a bit.

A short note about Jax's name (everyone seems to ask at one point or another)
Yes, Eric and I had decided on Jaxson's name before he passed away. We just both liked Jaxson, it was a little different and kind of a neat spelling. We also agreed on Nikola for his middle name, both of us are (were) science junkies. Actually, he wanted Tesla, but my cousin already used that for his first born's middle name, so Nikola it was. Jax's first middle name, Eric, I added in when he was born, in honor of his father's memory. Although we were never married, I had promised that Jax would have Eric's last name, as so he does. I don't mind having a different last name than him, I think he'll appreciate it when he's older.

Typically we see loving parents posting pictures of their darling little ones, and of course in chronological order. I am not the normal parent, or at least try not to be one of the boring ones, so I'm going to let you meet Jaxson, backwards. He definitely lives in his own little world the majority of the time, as do most Jaxson's that I know, no matter the spelling or age.

This boy has been with me through thick and thin, its not easy being a single parent, but he has been a brave, loving lifesaver to me.

This was just this morning, getting dressed has become a game to him, and a workout for mom

Nothing better than lounging around with his favorite book, I call it his thinking tongue

This was a farmhouse that has been around my family through ages, first mine, then my siblings and cousins, then to my older girls, and survived to be added to Jax's toy fest, and he loves it!

Jaxson's first birthday, a small party but he made the most of it, and his smash cake, before throwing it on the floor. Let the boy enjoy his day I say.

Looking a little more dapper on his birthday

At the end of the day, all he wanted to do was relax and cuddle with his birthday present that I crocheted for him.

Jax and I almost share a birthday, a short 6 days apart, so of course we have to rep the home team, much love to the Steelers!

At 11 months old, I couldn't imagine a cuter, sweeter, little boy

We are definitely a football family, always have been, always will be

Not all photo shoots go as planned, Jax has made sure of that

I wouldn't let him eat the sticker. Disaster ensues.

He knows he's Mr. Cool, and don't you forget it!

There isn't a day that this boy's smile doesn't brighten my day

We had just moved into our own apartment at this point, I had very little for him, but it truly didn't matter because we had each other.

We spent the first four months of Jax's life living in a room that I rented out in a house, we had very little room and I'm glad that he was still small.

I couldn't wait for him to start making little noises, such sweet coo's, now he is a non-stop talker and great conversationalist, if you can understand his "words".

The first month went by so quickly! I really don't know where the time went. (please excuse the poor picture quality, I had an older crap phone at the time)

Just a week old, and already off to the babysitter's. She's a savior, no doubt about that. I only wish that I could have taken more than a week's maternity leave. But a mom has to do what a mom's gotta do to provide.

The first time I saw Jax, he was taken away seconds later. The doctor didn't want to scare me, but I found out a short while after he was born that he wasn't breathing right. They called down the life-saving respiratory team and got him back on track. I couldn't imagine my life without this precious little boy. Maybe one day he'll understand when I just keep thanking him.

At this point, I honestly don't know what, or how much, I'm going to tell him about how his Dad died. We have been, and will continue to, let him know how much his Dad loved him and wanted to see him grow up. Eric wasn't all bad, not by any means, he had many, many good qualities. That is what I want Jax to know about him. It breaks my heart every day that he doesn't have a father to play ball with him, or laugh with, or read him a bedtime story. I do my best to be a good mom and dad, some days are easier than others. But my boy deserves the best, and I certainly strive to give him that, if nothing else but in love.

To be completely forward with you, I originally came on here, after trying to find money for bills this month and hoped that I had some funds built up. I had to empty my account, but you know what, Steemit helped us this month, I can pay the electric and rent and buy some food and stop struggling for just a moment. I guess that's why I decided this was the time to share my newest addition with everyone on here. Because you are the ones that saved us, and I thank you all for that.